Rally Stop Meriden, CT
It's morning and we are rushing to pack up and get to our stop today, being we drove until 3 am we are all feeling a little rough, everyone drinks coffee but me, so.....you can do the math. I am looking forward to this stop as it is the museum for law enforcement and contains so much history. It will be a good distraction from all the emotions that are piling up as we travel through the tour thus far.
Donna did a great job with all her visuals and making sure her agenda played out to her perfection. Families, press, law enforcement and guest were all accounted for and the message of the day was revisiting cold cases and the importance of it all. I had time to speak with many folks while their after the program was over while others networked and enjoyed the table of coffee and goodies, it was good as it gave me time to catch my breath.
I met and spoke in private with some families but the one who stuck in me head and heart all day was a Spanish family, they needed help, their story was very sad and they have not been treated with much respect at all. A mother reported her son missing when he did not return from the store and a storm came in beating down on their little home that night, she explains all she went through fighting tears with no success. Then days later a violent crime committed came to light and the media comes to interview people in the neighborhood to get their reaction, only to find out they are speaking about her son. He still has not been found. I held the hand of his broken father and felt every inch of his grief, I made a promise to help them. People who know me, know I do not like making promises always afraid something will happen that will prevent me from keeping my word, I take this very seriously. But I did and I will, they need it!
This song is very fitting for the way I felt for this family
http://youtu.be/evO6GGOkSug
You see the Spanish people who make great sacrifices to travel here seek a freedom we Americans speak of and yes although most come here illegally it does not mean we should not have compassion or treat them as they not worthy. How sad I feel that in most cases, this does play a role in how the case gets worked or if at all. Sadly, because of their status they cannot push their case as they are afraid of what may happen to them. It's not my place to judge, all I know is a child is missing, a crime has happen and a justice needs to be afforded to an innocent boy. The rest can talk amongst themselves.
I briefly walked through the museum and experience a travel back in time, wow how far law enforcement has come in the day of technology, then I came upon the "in memory room". It makes you take a moment to to give honor and read about these strangers who gave their life for our safety and protection, a grim reminder of how cruel this world really is at times. Finally I am looking at the K9 memorial wall, I stand and think of my loss, Heidi and relate to all the officers who lost their K9, I feel burden and then a flood of my my own memories and that I had been through with Heidi as well as our travels together, it becomes more than I need to visit with today, so I leave the museum to get re focused.
All and all it was an awesome stop and I feel time here has made a difference. As we pack up to leave and say our goodbyes I feel a renewed sense of justice for the OLD not cold cases, their are investigators out there that are making the difference and solving them, I remain hopefully today.
Monica Caison LYMI
Friday, October 31, 2014
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Clinton Iowa Elisa
We left Minnesota on a relaxed high. We've made it over half way through the tour. We've gotten through the initial confusion of what to take out at each stop, who is fulfilling what roles and realize from here on out it's going to go faster and faster until the end. Up until today every day had 3 stops with lots of late night driving. From now on we have less stops each day, but still a lot of driving to do. We leave around noon and don't have to be in Iowa until 7, with the drive only 5 hours. Cool that! We stop for lunch and some scenic pictures. Before you know it we need to rush again. At least we are staying in the Central Time Zone.
Benjamin Roseland went missing in 2008. He was 19 years old and visiting friends. He left the apartment at 10:30pm to walk to a grocery store for something to eat. He never arrived there and has not been seen since. The shoes he was wearing were discovered blocks apart from one another during one of the many searches conducted for him.
We pull in front of the Sacret Hearts Chapel, the location for tonight's vigil. Luckily, someone is waiting outside so we know we can unload a table of things and park in the rear. It's a beautiful church and filled with family, friends and members of the community. All ages are present here tonight. Ben's Aunt Julie greets us and is hosting the vigil. She says tonight is not a night to be sad, it's a night of hope and a night to get Ben's information out. Ben's 2 sisters spoke. His younger sister, Helen, was only 15 when Ben disappeared and wasn't able to do much back then. Now that she's older she says she is taking on a bigger role in attempting to find out what happened to her big brother 6 years ago. Ben's older sister, Audra, spoke of her work in the science field and how things should follow a logical path. How her brain cannot accept Ben just vanishing. She speaks of all the things Ben has missed and brings her children up, a daughter who I believe was a baby when Ben went missing, and a son who was born after Ben's disappearance. Life marches forward, lives change, time goes by, we get older. Yet for families of the missing, at the same time, nothing changes at all. They are still waiting for answers, they think daily about what happened, what more can be done. Constantly second guessing decisions and actions, constantly doing the what ifs...Audra asks the audience if anyone has any questions and her little boy, standing besides her raises his hand. She looks down at him "Do you have a question?" "Yes", he responds "Why is he missing?"
Missing teenage boys, my Achilles heel. Yet even with Ben's nephew asking probing questions and tears being shed, this family worked hard at keeping things upbeat. Real tears can be shed later, celebrating Ben was more important for right now. Everyone needed to be out of the church by 8:30 so there was a world wind of activity cleaning up as we brought the van out front for more pictures. Julie insisted on taking photos of us, pictures of the 5 of us are scarce so we appreciated that. As the family takes turns taking pictures besides the van Audra's children are asked to find their uncle. They point up at him and turn smiling for the camera. Then this vocal little boy announces to whoever will listen, "I've never met him".
Elisa
Benjamin Roseland went missing in 2008. He was 19 years old and visiting friends. He left the apartment at 10:30pm to walk to a grocery store for something to eat. He never arrived there and has not been seen since. The shoes he was wearing were discovered blocks apart from one another during one of the many searches conducted for him.
We pull in front of the Sacret Hearts Chapel, the location for tonight's vigil. Luckily, someone is waiting outside so we know we can unload a table of things and park in the rear. It's a beautiful church and filled with family, friends and members of the community. All ages are present here tonight. Ben's Aunt Julie greets us and is hosting the vigil. She says tonight is not a night to be sad, it's a night of hope and a night to get Ben's information out. Ben's 2 sisters spoke. His younger sister, Helen, was only 15 when Ben disappeared and wasn't able to do much back then. Now that she's older she says she is taking on a bigger role in attempting to find out what happened to her big brother 6 years ago. Ben's older sister, Audra, spoke of her work in the science field and how things should follow a logical path. How her brain cannot accept Ben just vanishing. She speaks of all the things Ben has missed and brings her children up, a daughter who I believe was a baby when Ben went missing, and a son who was born after Ben's disappearance. Life marches forward, lives change, time goes by, we get older. Yet for families of the missing, at the same time, nothing changes at all. They are still waiting for answers, they think daily about what happened, what more can be done. Constantly second guessing decisions and actions, constantly doing the what ifs...Audra asks the audience if anyone has any questions and her little boy, standing besides her raises his hand. She looks down at him "Do you have a question?" "Yes", he responds "Why is he missing?"
Missing teenage boys, my Achilles heel. Yet even with Ben's nephew asking probing questions and tears being shed, this family worked hard at keeping things upbeat. Real tears can be shed later, celebrating Ben was more important for right now. Everyone needed to be out of the church by 8:30 so there was a world wind of activity cleaning up as we brought the van out front for more pictures. Julie insisted on taking photos of us, pictures of the 5 of us are scarce so we appreciated that. As the family takes turns taking pictures besides the van Audra's children are asked to find their uncle. They point up at him and turn smiling for the camera. Then this vocal little boy announces to whoever will listen, "I've never met him".
Elisa
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Rally Stop Fredericksburg, VA
Rally Stop Fredericksburg, VA
We are driving and trying to get though the late day traffic where everyone is a hurry to get somewhere. We arrive to our stop in plain site along the busy roadway with a live radio station telling listeners all about what is happening here. Some beep but keep moving, others stop in briefly and those who pass are reminded of those missing in Virginia. As always until something tragic like a missing person happens to a person they really lend no major effort of getting involved, it just has to be okay today, so I leave that alone.
This stop is like almost a reunion for me seeing families I have not seen in a while, sadly this only means that their person is still missing. Madonna and others have set up tents aligned with banners, signage and beautiful table displays marking all of the missing featured today and that they matter, they existed! Speakers execute their message, most who spoke were suffering a missing person and as their words flow out they tremble with held back tears trying to be heard. This part of our stops is the most heart wrenching as each story is so very important.
You see people who suffer the cruelties of a missing person have to tell their story, no matter how many times it takes to afford the right person to hear it. Meaning, a day will come that the message is received by someone who may know something, that can help with a tip or lead in the investigation; a vital part of advocacy. Families have to learn its meaning and play this role in each case.
Organizations and advocates must teach families this great lesson. I witness this today, Madonna and other families standing up and taking on the fight, present to endure the battle they profess to one day claim victory. I continue to learn so much from those who our center has helped, watching victims gain a solid ground and utilize the tools and information we provide and experiencing the tides that turn to victim no more, I smile inside. I was taught that a good advocate is to teach their victim to become their own advocate, and be of help when they stumble or fall. CUE does this daily and I am proud of all those who work to make this happen.
Ending the day with this stop left a lot for me to think about for the several hours we had left to travel onward to Connecticut, cases featured ranged from months to decades on this day, but the feeling of loss was like it happened yesterday for all who stood there waving goodbye in our rear view mirror.
Monica Caison LYMI
We are driving and trying to get though the late day traffic where everyone is a hurry to get somewhere. We arrive to our stop in plain site along the busy roadway with a live radio station telling listeners all about what is happening here. Some beep but keep moving, others stop in briefly and those who pass are reminded of those missing in Virginia. As always until something tragic like a missing person happens to a person they really lend no major effort of getting involved, it just has to be okay today, so I leave that alone.
This stop is like almost a reunion for me seeing families I have not seen in a while, sadly this only means that their person is still missing. Madonna and others have set up tents aligned with banners, signage and beautiful table displays marking all of the missing featured today and that they matter, they existed! Speakers execute their message, most who spoke were suffering a missing person and as their words flow out they tremble with held back tears trying to be heard. This part of our stops is the most heart wrenching as each story is so very important.
You see people who suffer the cruelties of a missing person have to tell their story, no matter how many times it takes to afford the right person to hear it. Meaning, a day will come that the message is received by someone who may know something, that can help with a tip or lead in the investigation; a vital part of advocacy. Families have to learn its meaning and play this role in each case.
advocacy
noun
noun: advocacy
- public support for or recommendation of a particular cause or policy:"their advocacy of traditional family values"synonyms: support for · backing of · promotion of · championing of · argument for ·push for · boosterism of
Organizations and advocates must teach families this great lesson. I witness this today, Madonna and other families standing up and taking on the fight, present to endure the battle they profess to one day claim victory. I continue to learn so much from those who our center has helped, watching victims gain a solid ground and utilize the tools and information we provide and experiencing the tides that turn to victim no more, I smile inside. I was taught that a good advocate is to teach their victim to become their own advocate, and be of help when they stumble or fall. CUE does this daily and I am proud of all those who work to make this happen.
Ending the day with this stop left a lot for me to think about for the several hours we had left to travel onward to Connecticut, cases featured ranged from months to decades on this day, but the feeling of loss was like it happened yesterday for all who stood there waving goodbye in our rear view mirror.
Monica Caison LYMI
Wabasha MN Elisa
We left Illinois with a 6 hour drive in the dark and with it pouring rain. We hoped to drive half, stop somewhere in Wisconsin and leave early in the morning. The long nighttime driving is stressful, and I don't even do the driving, the rain makes it worse. We worry about finding a motel late at night, and though it might seem easy to run in and get a few hours sleep, it is not. Checking in and carrying everything for a few hours when you are exhausted is not fun, and it's worse when it's cold and raining. Usually I check and make sure what time we need to leave, but for some reason I only thought that we were 3 hours away and went with that, not taking into account the extra half hour leeway that I usually give us for traffic, gas, etc. I wake in a panic and try to rush everyone but we start the morning in a big rush knowing we may be late. We somehow make up the time on the road until we need to get gas. Monica informs us that as soon as the tank is full she is leaving as we all rush towards the bathrooms. Arrival times can be tricky, you want to be there within a 5 minute window of the scheduled time. If we are earlier than that, great, we stop and eat, or freshen up. Anytime over 2 minutes late and we stress. Especially today because this stop is for our Tour Honoree, and also because it's a Law Enforcement stop and they always run early.
It's a beautiful day out and the views on the ride are incredible. Colorful fall trees, scenic mountain views, the sky hitting the water, just mesmerizing. As we get close Tricia Reis, our Minnesota State Outreach Coordinator starts checking on us and our arrival time. Just as we thought everyone was there early and awaiting us. There was even some consideration to starting without us which luckily didn't occur. I think we ended up being 10 minutes late to the Wabasha County Government Center, what looks to be a new building surrounded by individual trees with red leaves. At a LE stop sometimes we can't set up a table, we never know the rules arriving so we send Monica quickly off and just grab the banner .
As we enter the room there's an easel with a Leave A Message For Donna Board. The room is full of LE, press, volunteers and family members. There is a CUE table already set up thanks to this being a tour hosted by one of our State Directors and we are also allowed to have one. Tricia has provided everyone with Child ID kits as well as our new coloring book. She has door prizes and the family has a table set up front in Donna's honor.
Donna Ingesoll was 25 years old when she went missing in 1990, almost 24 years ago. She had an argument with her boyfriend that day and left her apartment without any belongings, possibly without even her coat in the dead of winter. A year after her disappearance her boyfriend committed suicide without ever being cleared as a suspect. Donna is my age and I can't imagine my family not knowing what happened to me. I wonder if her parents are alive, how her sisters are dealing with the renewed interest in her case and all the new relatives that have been born into this nightmare possibly being already grown.
Donna's sister, Christina, attempts to read a poem that she wrote "Not Knowing", but she is full of emotion and can't get through it so Tricia calls up a member of the newly created City of Wabasha Cold Case Unit, Miranda Klees, to stand by Christiana's side and finish it for her. Some of the poem.... It's been over twenty some years, still no word, no grave, no marker to visit...... Not knowing what happened to you or where you are, whether you're still alive or dead.... Not knowing one way or the other that's the hard part, the puzzling part, the unable to move on and heal wholly part...
Both the Wabasha County Sheriff and the Wabasha Chief of Police spoke. Donna's case has been handed down over the years with incoming LE always pledging to find her. This year they reached out to CUE and reopened the investigation with the hopes of being proactive instead of reactive. We are told its been the case that has haunted the department for decades and that the family deserves closure, that the community deserves closure and that law enforcement deserves closure. The Mayor gets up to speak, choking up and holding back tears, he welcomes us to his city, while wishing he didn't need to. His emotional reaction effects everyone here.
After the press conference is over we have some time to talk and look around better. There a photo album of Donna out. There are some volunteers helping Tricia, who have recently become CUE volunteers. Everyone here is on the same page, one of renewed hope. Donna's table is decorated for Christmas since that has always been her favorite holiday, it's so creative. In complimenting it to Donna's sister she insists on giving credit to Miranda. There is a list there of all the holidays that Donna has missed since her disappearance. 24 New Years, 25 Christmases, a mind blowing total of 238 holidays. Another list, 10 Things You Maybe Didn't Know About Me lists that she was in the Army Reserves, and loves children and animals. Number 10 simply said My Life Matters!
Elisa
It's a beautiful day out and the views on the ride are incredible. Colorful fall trees, scenic mountain views, the sky hitting the water, just mesmerizing. As we get close Tricia Reis, our Minnesota State Outreach Coordinator starts checking on us and our arrival time. Just as we thought everyone was there early and awaiting us. There was even some consideration to starting without us which luckily didn't occur. I think we ended up being 10 minutes late to the Wabasha County Government Center, what looks to be a new building surrounded by individual trees with red leaves. At a LE stop sometimes we can't set up a table, we never know the rules arriving so we send Monica quickly off and just grab the banner .
As we enter the room there's an easel with a Leave A Message For Donna Board. The room is full of LE, press, volunteers and family members. There is a CUE table already set up thanks to this being a tour hosted by one of our State Directors and we are also allowed to have one. Tricia has provided everyone with Child ID kits as well as our new coloring book. She has door prizes and the family has a table set up front in Donna's honor.
Donna Ingesoll was 25 years old when she went missing in 1990, almost 24 years ago. She had an argument with her boyfriend that day and left her apartment without any belongings, possibly without even her coat in the dead of winter. A year after her disappearance her boyfriend committed suicide without ever being cleared as a suspect. Donna is my age and I can't imagine my family not knowing what happened to me. I wonder if her parents are alive, how her sisters are dealing with the renewed interest in her case and all the new relatives that have been born into this nightmare possibly being already grown.
Donna's sister, Christina, attempts to read a poem that she wrote "Not Knowing", but she is full of emotion and can't get through it so Tricia calls up a member of the newly created City of Wabasha Cold Case Unit, Miranda Klees, to stand by Christiana's side and finish it for her. Some of the poem.... It's been over twenty some years, still no word, no grave, no marker to visit...... Not knowing what happened to you or where you are, whether you're still alive or dead.... Not knowing one way or the other that's the hard part, the puzzling part, the unable to move on and heal wholly part...
Both the Wabasha County Sheriff and the Wabasha Chief of Police spoke. Donna's case has been handed down over the years with incoming LE always pledging to find her. This year they reached out to CUE and reopened the investigation with the hopes of being proactive instead of reactive. We are told its been the case that has haunted the department for decades and that the family deserves closure, that the community deserves closure and that law enforcement deserves closure. The Mayor gets up to speak, choking up and holding back tears, he welcomes us to his city, while wishing he didn't need to. His emotional reaction effects everyone here.
After the press conference is over we have some time to talk and look around better. There a photo album of Donna out. There are some volunteers helping Tricia, who have recently become CUE volunteers. Everyone here is on the same page, one of renewed hope. Donna's table is decorated for Christmas since that has always been her favorite holiday, it's so creative. In complimenting it to Donna's sister she insists on giving credit to Miranda. There is a list there of all the holidays that Donna has missed since her disappearance. 24 New Years, 25 Christmases, a mind blowing total of 238 holidays. Another list, 10 Things You Maybe Didn't Know About Me lists that she was in the Army Reserves, and loves children and animals. Number 10 simply said My Life Matters!
Elisa
Rally Stop Charlottesville, VA
Rally Stop - Charlottesville, VA
The rain has stopped and the sun is trying to peak in just a little; rain always brings growth and a sense of renewal. This park setting is surrounded by great scenery and the entrance is well marked that this is our next stop; no matter which way you choose to look their are visuals of the missing.
Families of the missing are greeted as they arrive and shuttle under the park shelter, others are filling balloons and their is a steady flow of busy people moving about to make everything just perfect. I stand back and capture all that is happening as I play witness to a community working together, all for one cause, the missing and its an accomplished feeling. Then a reporter steps up and begins to tell me about how he was affected years ago by certain stories of the missing and murdered, we share stories for while.
As the program begins and people share their journeys, I find myself wondering, will this always be like this, those who continue to vanish and those who devote their life to find them? Most of these cases here today are fairly recent, although one day is to long to suffer a missing loved one, but I cannot shake the thoughts of cases we have of 7, 15, 20 or even more years missing. I am weighed down by these intrusive thoughts today.
I had an elderly woman once tell me a long time ago that she would love to spend a day in my mind to see what all goes on and to have the knowledge and experience she felt I had in the world of the missing. As I was reminded of her and of her passing, for a moment I thought "yeah", I'd wish I could give it all away on someday's.
You see over and over, year after year, their are people in the thousands that wake up to a normal day of activities, then a window is slammed as they become a family now enduring the unknown fate of a missing loved one. Their life is on display for all to judge, they are afforded no privacy, they are forced to trust strangers with all they have to offer, as they try to hold onto that "hope".
One soon discovers that hope can be many things from, I hope they are alive, I hope I can get through this, I hope they find my loved one, I hope they can get a conviction and the list goes on. I say this all because I too hope, but I have come to understand that believing has to be attached to hope. We can all hope for situations to change, but without the action of faith - belief it normally does not. So in a simple thought, I know this tour we take each year brings forth that hope, but the actions and belief of so many that come together is vital in the process of change.
In a circle we prayed, then lifted our heads upward to watch the balloons set free with many announcing out loud the name of their missing person, their is was "that very moment", when hope was attached to faith - belief.
We depart from this stop feeling a renewal of the strength in our families we serve here.
Monica Caison LYMI
The rain has stopped and the sun is trying to peak in just a little; rain always brings growth and a sense of renewal. This park setting is surrounded by great scenery and the entrance is well marked that this is our next stop; no matter which way you choose to look their are visuals of the missing.
Families of the missing are greeted as they arrive and shuttle under the park shelter, others are filling balloons and their is a steady flow of busy people moving about to make everything just perfect. I stand back and capture all that is happening as I play witness to a community working together, all for one cause, the missing and its an accomplished feeling. Then a reporter steps up and begins to tell me about how he was affected years ago by certain stories of the missing and murdered, we share stories for while.
As the program begins and people share their journeys, I find myself wondering, will this always be like this, those who continue to vanish and those who devote their life to find them? Most of these cases here today are fairly recent, although one day is to long to suffer a missing loved one, but I cannot shake the thoughts of cases we have of 7, 15, 20 or even more years missing. I am weighed down by these intrusive thoughts today.
I had an elderly woman once tell me a long time ago that she would love to spend a day in my mind to see what all goes on and to have the knowledge and experience she felt I had in the world of the missing. As I was reminded of her and of her passing, for a moment I thought "yeah", I'd wish I could give it all away on someday's.
You see over and over, year after year, their are people in the thousands that wake up to a normal day of activities, then a window is slammed as they become a family now enduring the unknown fate of a missing loved one. Their life is on display for all to judge, they are afforded no privacy, they are forced to trust strangers with all they have to offer, as they try to hold onto that "hope".
One soon discovers that hope can be many things from, I hope they are alive, I hope I can get through this, I hope they find my loved one, I hope they can get a conviction and the list goes on. I say this all because I too hope, but I have come to understand that believing has to be attached to hope. We can all hope for situations to change, but without the action of faith - belief it normally does not. So in a simple thought, I know this tour we take each year brings forth that hope, but the actions and belief of so many that come together is vital in the process of change.
In a circle we prayed, then lifted our heads upward to watch the balloons set free with many announcing out loud the name of their missing person, their is was "that very moment", when hope was attached to faith - belief.
We depart from this stop feeling a renewal of the strength in our families we serve here.
Monica Caison LYMI
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Rally Stop Lovingston, VA
Rally Stop - Lovingston, VA
Through the mist of the fog and drizzling rain I look to see whats ahead for Alexis Murphy's stop; I was told we would be dedicating a garden and Shawn shared all the wonderful things about those helping and items donated. I am looking forward to this stop. I think because it is outdoors and I really love these type of settings, a place to go is important for times in life that a person may need to be somewhere private.
We pull in a walk way of missing people staked into the ground leading the direction of the path to our destination. Under full trees that reach out to the sky for life but shading the undergrowth of plants and flowers everywhere, there lies a bench facing the busy world at a glance. I take a deep breath as I see in the distance a framed photo of Alexis on a wooden cut tree stump, I am quickly reminded of why we are here and I am not so excited anymore.
I look further beyond that point to see all of a sudden people entering the path and the rain is picking up somewhat, I feel hundreds of angels are crying as more people begin to gather under the trees for shelter. You here many talking, see them hug and some go immediately to capture the view photos of the missing on display. A thickness begins to build of soft mourning, you can feel the heart break as the Harrington's enter into the scenery, a shared understanding without a word spoken.
Speakers and families line up to begin, everyone listens intensely to each word, people are crying but you cannot really see that as the rain mixes with the tears; passion for justice is embedded in each message spoken today. You see no matter what stage in your case you are a,t you always want to be heard and want to feel justice for your loved one. Someone has to take responsibility for all the pain they cause, right? The one thing I have found that ALL families experience the same is the constant loss, through the missing part - the court room and justice - and the final recovery. The public never really sees the roller coaster ride of emotion families left behind go through nor can thy grasp how they are forever changed by this tragedy.
As things come to an end, many linger around not wanting to leave, the families stand by waving people onward and thank yous are heard a million times over, as if they are giving you permission to leave, and finally everyone does. We are packing up after our goodbyes and I can heard in the distance reporters practicing their intros for this breaking news and others yelling I love you through the rain, sounds of people rushing off and car doors close, and then you realize this stop is over.
My thoughts focus to time allowing us to get to the next stop so I do not have to feel the impact of separation from all that I just experienced, I will save that for later when the day nears an end and I am in private.
Monica Caison LYMI
Through the mist of the fog and drizzling rain I look to see whats ahead for Alexis Murphy's stop; I was told we would be dedicating a garden and Shawn shared all the wonderful things about those helping and items donated. I am looking forward to this stop. I think because it is outdoors and I really love these type of settings, a place to go is important for times in life that a person may need to be somewhere private.
We pull in a walk way of missing people staked into the ground leading the direction of the path to our destination. Under full trees that reach out to the sky for life but shading the undergrowth of plants and flowers everywhere, there lies a bench facing the busy world at a glance. I take a deep breath as I see in the distance a framed photo of Alexis on a wooden cut tree stump, I am quickly reminded of why we are here and I am not so excited anymore.
I look further beyond that point to see all of a sudden people entering the path and the rain is picking up somewhat, I feel hundreds of angels are crying as more people begin to gather under the trees for shelter. You here many talking, see them hug and some go immediately to capture the view photos of the missing on display. A thickness begins to build of soft mourning, you can feel the heart break as the Harrington's enter into the scenery, a shared understanding without a word spoken.
Speakers and families line up to begin, everyone listens intensely to each word, people are crying but you cannot really see that as the rain mixes with the tears; passion for justice is embedded in each message spoken today. You see no matter what stage in your case you are a,t you always want to be heard and want to feel justice for your loved one. Someone has to take responsibility for all the pain they cause, right? The one thing I have found that ALL families experience the same is the constant loss, through the missing part - the court room and justice - and the final recovery. The public never really sees the roller coaster ride of emotion families left behind go through nor can thy grasp how they are forever changed by this tragedy.
As things come to an end, many linger around not wanting to leave, the families stand by waving people onward and thank yous are heard a million times over, as if they are giving you permission to leave, and finally everyone does. We are packing up after our goodbyes and I can heard in the distance reporters practicing their intros for this breaking news and others yelling I love you through the rain, sounds of people rushing off and car doors close, and then you realize this stop is over.
My thoughts focus to time allowing us to get to the next stop so I do not have to feel the impact of separation from all that I just experienced, I will save that for later when the day nears an end and I am in private.
Monica Caison LYMI
Rally Stop Rocky Mount, VA
Rally Stop - Rocky Mount, VA
We are driving into the darkness it appears the rain is becoming relentless, I think about all those who I know will be there waiting on us no matter the conditions, and I smile. I think of the hundreds of times I have stood and searched in horrible weather conditions for those who are missing, it really does not matter to most that work in this arena. I think I even wrote a poem once about that.
So we arrive and things have already been in motion on this day as speakers and media had provided coverage of the missing and event slated for this evening. We jump right in and say a few words and went through some introductions as we moved on down the boat ramp to launch little boats so amazingly handcrafted by volunteers. Each boat housed a photo of a missing person and lit candle. Families gathered at the waters edge and gave a push, as some cried, others watched and many said a silent prayer as they followed the floating craft down stream. It was a sight to see and that feeling lingered with me for the rest of the night.
I realized the rain had stopped once everyone went to participate in the launching of the boats, I silently wonder if anyone else noticed, it weird how things like this happen often, God will allow a peace to flow and change the situation. It was a very humble event to end our day touring.
I leave this stop with pride, our directors program we launched is strong in Virginia and growing; although this is the first Virginia stop they have done a great job with not only their hosted stop, but working to involve and support the families left behind. So much volunteer work goes daily unnoticed by dedicated people to the cause, I am blessed to have so many great folks who join CUE and give of themselves so freely.
After a restless night I awoke to a radiant sunrise, a reminder for me that their is something out there way larger then any of us, so I took the opportunity to spend some time alone in prayer.
A Burst of Sorrow
7/2/2002
Written by : Monica Caison
Standing here alone tonight
I can hardly breathe
The sinking pain within my soul
Is nothing you can see
The sky could fall or lightening strike
I wouldn't feel a thing
The meaning of this endless flight
An angel caught by wings
So real are thoughts we try to hide
Offered through a smile
A gesture or a kind word
Is torment for a while
Comfort seems to be a thought
And the feeling is out of reach
The words, I can bare no more
Poured on me to keep
I'm standing here alone tonight
Desperate to see your face
Then the truth hits so hard
Your missing without a trace
We are driving into the darkness it appears the rain is becoming relentless, I think about all those who I know will be there waiting on us no matter the conditions, and I smile. I think of the hundreds of times I have stood and searched in horrible weather conditions for those who are missing, it really does not matter to most that work in this arena. I think I even wrote a poem once about that.
So we arrive and things have already been in motion on this day as speakers and media had provided coverage of the missing and event slated for this evening. We jump right in and say a few words and went through some introductions as we moved on down the boat ramp to launch little boats so amazingly handcrafted by volunteers. Each boat housed a photo of a missing person and lit candle. Families gathered at the waters edge and gave a push, as some cried, others watched and many said a silent prayer as they followed the floating craft down stream. It was a sight to see and that feeling lingered with me for the rest of the night.
I realized the rain had stopped once everyone went to participate in the launching of the boats, I silently wonder if anyone else noticed, it weird how things like this happen often, God will allow a peace to flow and change the situation. It was a very humble event to end our day touring.
I leave this stop with pride, our directors program we launched is strong in Virginia and growing; although this is the first Virginia stop they have done a great job with not only their hosted stop, but working to involve and support the families left behind. So much volunteer work goes daily unnoticed by dedicated people to the cause, I am blessed to have so many great folks who join CUE and give of themselves so freely.
After a restless night I awoke to a radiant sunrise, a reminder for me that their is something out there way larger then any of us, so I took the opportunity to spend some time alone in prayer.
A Burst of Sorrow
7/2/2002
Written by : Monica Caison
Standing here alone tonight
I can hardly breathe
The sinking pain within my soul
Is nothing you can see
The sky could fall or lightening strike
I wouldn't feel a thing
The meaning of this endless flight
An angel caught by wings
So real are thoughts we try to hide
Offered through a smile
A gesture or a kind word
Is torment for a while
Comfort seems to be a thought
And the feeling is out of reach
The words, I can bare no more
Poured on me to keep
I'm standing here alone tonight
Desperate to see your face
Then the truth hits so hard
Your missing without a trace
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)