We stayed over in Iowa. We got settled in pretty early and hoped to get some work done, and do the drive to Indiana in the morning. We had to be there at 2 in the afternoon, it was a 5 hour drive and we loose an hour in the time change. So, hmm, 5 plus 1 is 6 plus an hour leeway is 7, from 2:00pm is 7am? Ok, we have to leave by 7am, this is the type of math we are constantly doing. Only the one stop in Indiana, the only day with one stop, but even more driving. Maybe at some point there can be a motel blog post. This was another epic place.
Kokomo Indiana. Roadside stop for the families of Kelly Armstrong and Esther Westenbarger. Both of these women went missing from Kokomo, and both families are here representing their loved ones in large numbers. As we pull into the parking lot you can see all the colorful posters of the missing lined up along the street. Interspersed between are posters of sayings, such as Every Missing Person Is Someone's Child and When I Want To Give Up, Hope Whisters Try One More Time. They have set up a map of Indiana with pushpins representing all the state's missing and from where in the state. There is a tree with colorful leaves attached representing the missing, each leaf has a missing persons name and where they went missing from. This tree of the missing is labeled the Tree Of Hope. Both families have their own tables set up with lots of pictures, and lots of balloons.
Kelly Armstrong went missing in 2011. She was 27 and living in a trailer with her boyfriend and young child. Her sister had been trying to reach her, the boyfriend always answered her calls and gave excuses as to why Kelly couldn't talk. Finally, the police were asked to do a welfare check and when they failed to reach Kelly, her sister reported her missing. Bloodstained carpet in the trailer was found to be Kelly's and within a few months the boyfriend confessed to killing Kelly. He has said that he put her body into a garbage container and watched a truck take it away. He has plead guilty to voluntary manslaughter. Authorities believe Kelly may be in a landfill, even though it has been searched and nothing has been found. Whether she is or isn't there and just because the boyfriend is now serving time, is meaningless until Kelly is found and returned to her family.
Esther Westenbarger had recently moved to Kokomo to be closer to her mother and siblings. She was also living in a trailer when she went missing in 2009, but that's where the sililarities to Kelly end. She had been out with friends at a bar, left her car there and went to another bar. It is believed that she went missing after leaving the second bar to go back for her car. Her car is also still missing.
While looking at the road signs I came across a couple with missing t shirts and found out that their daughter was also missing from the area. Ashley Morris Mullis disappeared in 2013. She was a 27 year old mother of three young children when she went missing. Her husband, the father of the then 5 year old and the then 2 year old has both been granted a divorce and gotten custody of his children since she disappeared. Her youngest child who was approximately 3 months old when she was last seen lives with the family of her then boyfriend and Ashley's parents have been denied access to their youngest grandchild.
Another woman I met told me that her sister had been missing and found. Although we didn't discuss the circumstances she appeared to be strong and very supportive of everyone there. She said she had researched CUE and came out to meet us. She was interested in both our conference and possibly becoming a State Coordinator. She brought with her the mother of a formerly missing, who appeared very fresh. I first met her by the roadside posters and thought she was family of one of the missing here. While working our banner spot I could see her talking to Harlan and David, she then came towards me and I offered her a marker to sign the banner. She said she didn't know what to write so I suggested she read some comments for inspiration. She sat down on the ground in front of the banner digesting all the faces and comments. This is when I learned that her daughter had recently been recovered. Her daughter, Brianna DiBattiste, went missing in June, was recovered in September and had been put to rest about 2 weeks ago.
This stop was quickly becoming the most emotional of the tour. Esther's family was in pain, Kelly's family was in pain, we had additional missing persons families showing up raw and in need of guidance, and now we had met a newly recovered mother clearly in pain. Everywhere you turned were people in different stages of the missing and recovered.
The press conference began with an older man hosting. A relative of Kelly's, he spoke of PTSD and how the only way we could heal was to talk. He said talk often, even if people get tired of listening to you, you must keep talking. Monica looked at me and smiled, she knows one of my biggest difficulties is thinking I talk too much about Mathew and that people are tired of hearing it. I really do know that this is mostly in my head and my problem, but it one of those things that continues to nag at me especially as the years he's been gone increases. Kelly's sister came forward to talk, she got emotional and had to walk away before finishing. Esther's family spoke, Monica spoke, Kelly's family read a poem for the missing and when we were asked if anyone else wanted to speak Brianna's mother came forward. I'm so glad she was able tell Brianna's story. When we learned that she had just buried her daughter, and yet made it here to be with all of us, I sensed she is going to be ok. Not now, maybe not for a long time but she is definitely taking the right steps. Just now I wanted to change the word ok. Are any of us mothers ever really ok after experience a missing and or recovered child? We are forever changed and never ok, but I can't think of another word to use. I have seen mothers not able to get out of bed, not able to leave the house, not able to function, still spending their days sobbing or visiting their child's graves daily even as years go by. So I guess what I mean by ok is that she's going to survive better than some. I encouraged her to come to the conference, by her being here today I think meeting all those families will really help in her healing process.
The balloon release was followed with tears and hugs that went on for longer than usual. As I've said before, this was a highly emotional stop and everyone seemed to be bonding now, after all the speeches. Then Monica was given flowers, and Kelly's family were all presented with framed pictures of her. We stayed a little longer helping to clean up, in no particular rush to get back on the road. It took me longer than usual after we left to shake the sadness. We asked Monica to share with us her knowledge of these cases. This is something we often do and something that usually helps me process the stop and the families. Yet I can't seem to get past all the people I met today and how much they all need their loved ones found. Then again, that goes for all the families both on this year's tour and everywhere.
Elisa
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