We had 4 hours to make a 3 and a half hour drive, easy breezy, unless you are traveling one lane roads in Friday afternoon traffic. I would ask when will the logistics nightmare end? But it ends tomorrow with the end of the tour. Until next year that is, because reality is, it's just life on the road tour.
This is Harlan's stop so he ends up unplugging the garmin....He knows better, and gets us there close to the starting time. The stop is being held at the Laurinberg Courthouse, last year it was at the Laurinberg Sheriif's Department, and I believe in 2011 it was in Lumberton. In the past it's usually our first stop and where Harlan joins us, he always manages to escape the prep work. Oh. And we are in North Carolina not South Carolina. Which I did know but forgot since not only were we in SC earlier we will be in SC again tomorrow morning and then NC again tomorrow afternoon. I'm sorry, I know they are close but the yoyo effect isn't working for me.
When we pull in its already dark and they have already started. I can see all the tables up front and people gathered around. A host is already in place speaking behind the tables. They immediately call Monica up and I'm attempting to set up our table in back of our van and take pictures all at the same time. I see lots of people I know, lots of familiar faces I recognize that I'm sure I'm supposed to know and lots of people I do not know. Monica speaks and then I hear Harlan being called up, because of his nephew I assume, until I hear him say he's not good at speaking and that I should come up. As I hear my name and make my way up front I really have no idea why, and as I take the microphone I have to ask what I'm supposed to talk about as Harlan smirks at me from the sidelines. She just wanted a tour volunteer to speak about our journey. I can't remember specially what I said although I'm sure I mentioned why I'm involved with CUE, I do know that later strangers wanted to hug me. Lots of families spoke, not only families of the missing but also families of unsolved homicides. It was a large crowd and it encompassed many groups of families that needed different forms of resolution for their loved ones.
This stop is for multiple missing persons and is being hosted by all their families.
Ricky Bethea grew up in Laurinburg but actually went missing from Milton where he was staying at an assisted living facility. He suffered from schizophrenia and was 45 when he went missing in 2007. He had went out walking into the woods with another resident that day. While the other resident returned to the facility, Ricky never did and has not been seen since. His energetic talkative sister was the host emceeing tonight.
Kimberly Thrower disappeared from Laurinburg in 2004. She was 16 and had left home in the morning for high school. She was last seen waiting at her stop for the school bus, but never got on and never arrived at school that day. It is believed that a man came up to her at the bus stop, put his arm around her and walked her into the woods.
Delwin Locklear disappeared from Martin in 2004. He was a 27 year old father of 2 when he was last seen in a wooded area behind his home. He is Harlen's nephew and the reason Harlen is involved with CUE. Not only does Harlan volunteer on this tour and attend the conferences every year, he's also a searcher.
I first met Harlan in 2006 when we both were attending our first conferences. Mathew was missing then and I attended the conference alone. I can't really say why. Family and friends had offered to come with me but I think I just felt so alone in this journey, you see my husband had died 2 years prior. Although I have a good support system I was determined to go by myself. I was a like a sponge that year taking it all in, very serious and focused. I ended up riding to the vigil with Harlan and his family. They were sitting behind me on the bus. We bonded on that ride and to me that bond
deepens every year.
Troy Jacobs went missing from Red Springs in 1996 at the age of 22. Earlier in the day he had said that there was someone that he was having trouble with and that he feared for his safety. He was last seen at a convenience store getting into a car full of people. He has not been seen since and investigators believe he was taken against his will.
Jessica Lowery was a 25 year old mother of 3 when she disappeared from Lumberton in 2005. She left her home one night to make a 2 mile walk to a friend's home, a walk she made often. She never made it to visit that friend and she has never been seen since. Jessica's family always represents at the vigils in large number wearing their agony clearly on their faces.
Roger Chambers was 34 when he went missing from Raeford in 2010. He was supposed to be going to a meeting and then possibly to meet up with someone who owed him money. He was last seen at a gas station where witnesses saw and spoke to him. He hasn't been seen since and his vehicle is also still missing. I remember first meeting with his family back in 2011 when they were still in the early raw stages of having a missing loved one. What I remember most is his children. Meeting the children of the missing is always heartbreaking and leaves a mark on your soul.
Jennifer Patterson went missing in 1991 from Spring Lake. She was 7 years old back then. Her parents were divorced but they all were still living together. Jennifer was last seen leaving her trailer home barefoot and in a bathing suit to go to a friend's trailer. It was hours before it was discovered that the neighbors were not at home that day and that Jennifer had vanished. The police focused early on her father even though it could be verified that he was at work all day. Jennifer's disappearance is now classified as a non family abduction but no one really knows how much more could have been done back then if only they hadn't made him their suspect. Jennifer's father attempted to come to our first stop in Raleigh, you can go back and read or reread that blog entry. He got lost tonight and arrived towards the end. Although he didn't get to speak he was able to see and sign the banner. I joked with him that now he must come to the finale tomorrow. His daughter went missing over 20 years ago, but you can see in his eyes that it's like yesterday for him.
Elisa
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Monday, November 3, 2014
Inman South Carolina Elisa
We left Indiana with a 9 hour overnight drive. It is the final long drive of the tour, and I for one was antsy in the van. South Carolina is a state we stop in often and from now on I will know all the families. There are 2 stops today and 2 tomorrow, which is our last day on the tour.
This stop is hosted by the family of Evelyn Shelton and the city of Inman. Evelyn went missing in Spartanburg and we had a stop last year at the Spartanburg City Hall, but today we are at the Inman City Hall and Police Department. Everyone was interspersing the 2 names, which was confusing to me, a non South Carolinian, but from what I understand Inman is in Spartanburg County.
Evelyn Shelton was 42 when she went missing in 2011. She was last seen leaving a church friend's home where she was attending Bible study. She had received a text message and left suddenly never to be seen again. The following day her car was recovered a few miles from where she had been the evening before and about 2 months later her wallet was found in a storm drain. Searches of all these areas failed to reveal anything else relevant to her disappearance.
Evelyn's brother Tim always hosts a good rally stop. He puts time and thought into what his message will be about and has changed his focus this year to domestic abuse. Tim runs the nonprofit Speak Life Forever Foundation, which Evelyn's family founded after her disappearance. It is a faith based organization whose purpose is to create awareness about missing individuals through connections with other organizations who maintain similar goals. The SLFF has vowed to keep hope alive through ministry at various community outreach events. Their shirts with Evelyn's picture say Never Give Up Hope.
Today's program began with an invocation by Inspired Life Ministries. Then we heard from the founder of the Retread Initiative, a nonprofit organization whose programs are aimed at youth education, victim re-empowerment, and behavior coaching. His domestic violence speech was different than most, as he spoke of the boys and men who need to be reached and coached. Reaching males is key to curbing domestic violence yet most speak of what women can and should do. After Monica spoke we were treated to songs of inspiration. A part of Evelyn's stop that I was looking forward to and that did not disappoint. A Pastor then introduced the Mayor of Inman, who welcomed us to his city although wishing we had come under different circumstances. Tim then invited us to cross the street where the balloon release would occur.
As we walked, we passed many missing persons posters staked into the ground all around the area of the ballon release. So many of the missing of South Carolina, so many faces that I was familiar with, so many stories that I know. Brandy, Kareem, Zach, Garrett, Crystal, Clartha and Brandon and Brittanee, to name just a few. It overwhelmed me rather than making me feel comfortable knowing so many. So many faces that I see year after year, so many who's families I've met, so many that are in my heart and that are dear to me, so many that deserve to be returned to their loved ones, just so many..
Elisa
This stop is hosted by the family of Evelyn Shelton and the city of Inman. Evelyn went missing in Spartanburg and we had a stop last year at the Spartanburg City Hall, but today we are at the Inman City Hall and Police Department. Everyone was interspersing the 2 names, which was confusing to me, a non South Carolinian, but from what I understand Inman is in Spartanburg County.
Evelyn Shelton was 42 when she went missing in 2011. She was last seen leaving a church friend's home where she was attending Bible study. She had received a text message and left suddenly never to be seen again. The following day her car was recovered a few miles from where she had been the evening before and about 2 months later her wallet was found in a storm drain. Searches of all these areas failed to reveal anything else relevant to her disappearance.
Evelyn's brother Tim always hosts a good rally stop. He puts time and thought into what his message will be about and has changed his focus this year to domestic abuse. Tim runs the nonprofit Speak Life Forever Foundation, which Evelyn's family founded after her disappearance. It is a faith based organization whose purpose is to create awareness about missing individuals through connections with other organizations who maintain similar goals. The SLFF has vowed to keep hope alive through ministry at various community outreach events. Their shirts with Evelyn's picture say Never Give Up Hope.
Today's program began with an invocation by Inspired Life Ministries. Then we heard from the founder of the Retread Initiative, a nonprofit organization whose programs are aimed at youth education, victim re-empowerment, and behavior coaching. His domestic violence speech was different than most, as he spoke of the boys and men who need to be reached and coached. Reaching males is key to curbing domestic violence yet most speak of what women can and should do. After Monica spoke we were treated to songs of inspiration. A part of Evelyn's stop that I was looking forward to and that did not disappoint. A Pastor then introduced the Mayor of Inman, who welcomed us to his city although wishing we had come under different circumstances. Tim then invited us to cross the street where the balloon release would occur.
As we walked, we passed many missing persons posters staked into the ground all around the area of the ballon release. So many of the missing of South Carolina, so many faces that I was familiar with, so many stories that I know. Brandy, Kareem, Zach, Garrett, Crystal, Clartha and Brandon and Brittanee, to name just a few. It overwhelmed me rather than making me feel comfortable knowing so many. So many faces that I see year after year, so many who's families I've met, so many that are in my heart and that are dear to me, so many that deserve to be returned to their loved ones, just so many..
Elisa
Rally Stop Blairstown, NJ
Rally Stop - Blairstown, NJ
Some would ask "excited" about going to a cemetery? But this next rally stop is in fact to stand among the deceased and bring light to a young girl who still has no name. You see years ago this beautiful child was brutally murdered and thrown out near a creek on the backside of this location; sadly the same location where she was put to rest by the towns people and law enforcement with no one every claiming her, she remains unidentified.
We gathered as the sun beamed through the hardwood trees just enough to burn warmth on your face and make you feel at peace. Lisa and Christine were worried that no one would show up and that maybe their efforts would not make the difference, oh how they was wrong. People from the town came out and even the original reporter who covered the story, in addition to the author of a book dedicated to this girl and the very first investigator. It was refreshing to know all of these folks gave of their time to come out and give honor to this unnamed child.
This song became meaningful after I learned about this case a few years ago http://youtu.be/eZrPcyyWRzI
There were signs and poster boards of others on display and families to represent them in attendance, like in memory of Patricia Viola and unsolved homicide victim Allison Jackson Foy; a grim reminder of my hometown that we have so many unsolved homicides lately that are stacking up at an unforgiving rate. This is the world we live in now, either you're a solved or unsolved case and then their are the unidentified who can never be afforded justice until we know where they come from to lead to what may have happened. I am angered that a child can remain missing for so long and go unreported and not searched for, can this really happened in today's world of technology? Yes, it does and I shake my head over and over in confusion of how this still continues to be an on going problem.
We prayed, dropped flowers at her little rock graveside after those close to the investigation spoke of their hardship to solved this crime. I had the chance to speak with all that had been involved and in private was told of how the girl was found and from the investigator himself and I quote. "anything that could have gone wrong that day upon her discovery, did; he share his disappointment in not being able to solve at least who she is; you could see his passion for this case in his eyes and felt his words like a burning fire, not to be quenched.
As we leave here, I have to find comfort in knowing she is now safe, the people of this town have claimed her and given her a temporary name, princess doe. But I can't help the feeling since I first learned of this young girl that somewhere a mistake has been made in a DNA entry or maybe not even entered yet and that an identification is upon the horizon for this doe. I feel strongly I was brought into this mystery to be an instrument for a resolve, so I have embraced it.
http://www.princessdoe.org/ to learn more about this child, click the link provided.
Today I have witnessed when faced with the most hopeless situation that their are people who do care and when joined together a a renewed force of strength takes place allowing a positive change to unfold, understanding it will all be in God's timing. We just have to believe.
Monica Caison LYMI
Some would ask "excited" about going to a cemetery? But this next rally stop is in fact to stand among the deceased and bring light to a young girl who still has no name. You see years ago this beautiful child was brutally murdered and thrown out near a creek on the backside of this location; sadly the same location where she was put to rest by the towns people and law enforcement with no one every claiming her, she remains unidentified.
We gathered as the sun beamed through the hardwood trees just enough to burn warmth on your face and make you feel at peace. Lisa and Christine were worried that no one would show up and that maybe their efforts would not make the difference, oh how they was wrong. People from the town came out and even the original reporter who covered the story, in addition to the author of a book dedicated to this girl and the very first investigator. It was refreshing to know all of these folks gave of their time to come out and give honor to this unnamed child.
This song became meaningful after I learned about this case a few years ago http://youtu.be/eZrPcyyWRzI
There were signs and poster boards of others on display and families to represent them in attendance, like in memory of Patricia Viola and unsolved homicide victim Allison Jackson Foy; a grim reminder of my hometown that we have so many unsolved homicides lately that are stacking up at an unforgiving rate. This is the world we live in now, either you're a solved or unsolved case and then their are the unidentified who can never be afforded justice until we know where they come from to lead to what may have happened. I am angered that a child can remain missing for so long and go unreported and not searched for, can this really happened in today's world of technology? Yes, it does and I shake my head over and over in confusion of how this still continues to be an on going problem.
We prayed, dropped flowers at her little rock graveside after those close to the investigation spoke of their hardship to solved this crime. I had the chance to speak with all that had been involved and in private was told of how the girl was found and from the investigator himself and I quote. "anything that could have gone wrong that day upon her discovery, did; he share his disappointment in not being able to solve at least who she is; you could see his passion for this case in his eyes and felt his words like a burning fire, not to be quenched.
As we leave here, I have to find comfort in knowing she is now safe, the people of this town have claimed her and given her a temporary name, princess doe. But I can't help the feeling since I first learned of this young girl that somewhere a mistake has been made in a DNA entry or maybe not even entered yet and that an identification is upon the horizon for this doe. I feel strongly I was brought into this mystery to be an instrument for a resolve, so I have embraced it.
http://www.princessdoe.org/ to learn more about this child, click the link provided.
Today I have witnessed when faced with the most hopeless situation that their are people who do care and when joined together a a renewed force of strength takes place allowing a positive change to unfold, understanding it will all be in God's timing. We just have to believe.
Monica Caison LYMI
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Kokomo Indiana Elisa
We stayed over in Iowa. We got settled in pretty early and hoped to get some work done, and do the drive to Indiana in the morning. We had to be there at 2 in the afternoon, it was a 5 hour drive and we loose an hour in the time change. So, hmm, 5 plus 1 is 6 plus an hour leeway is 7, from 2:00pm is 7am? Ok, we have to leave by 7am, this is the type of math we are constantly doing. Only the one stop in Indiana, the only day with one stop, but even more driving. Maybe at some point there can be a motel blog post. This was another epic place.
Kokomo Indiana. Roadside stop for the families of Kelly Armstrong and Esther Westenbarger. Both of these women went missing from Kokomo, and both families are here representing their loved ones in large numbers. As we pull into the parking lot you can see all the colorful posters of the missing lined up along the street. Interspersed between are posters of sayings, such as Every Missing Person Is Someone's Child and When I Want To Give Up, Hope Whisters Try One More Time. They have set up a map of Indiana with pushpins representing all the state's missing and from where in the state. There is a tree with colorful leaves attached representing the missing, each leaf has a missing persons name and where they went missing from. This tree of the missing is labeled the Tree Of Hope. Both families have their own tables set up with lots of pictures, and lots of balloons.
Kelly Armstrong went missing in 2011. She was 27 and living in a trailer with her boyfriend and young child. Her sister had been trying to reach her, the boyfriend always answered her calls and gave excuses as to why Kelly couldn't talk. Finally, the police were asked to do a welfare check and when they failed to reach Kelly, her sister reported her missing. Bloodstained carpet in the trailer was found to be Kelly's and within a few months the boyfriend confessed to killing Kelly. He has said that he put her body into a garbage container and watched a truck take it away. He has plead guilty to voluntary manslaughter. Authorities believe Kelly may be in a landfill, even though it has been searched and nothing has been found. Whether she is or isn't there and just because the boyfriend is now serving time, is meaningless until Kelly is found and returned to her family.
Esther Westenbarger had recently moved to Kokomo to be closer to her mother and siblings. She was also living in a trailer when she went missing in 2009, but that's where the sililarities to Kelly end. She had been out with friends at a bar, left her car there and went to another bar. It is believed that she went missing after leaving the second bar to go back for her car. Her car is also still missing.
While looking at the road signs I came across a couple with missing t shirts and found out that their daughter was also missing from the area. Ashley Morris Mullis disappeared in 2013. She was a 27 year old mother of three young children when she went missing. Her husband, the father of the then 5 year old and the then 2 year old has both been granted a divorce and gotten custody of his children since she disappeared. Her youngest child who was approximately 3 months old when she was last seen lives with the family of her then boyfriend and Ashley's parents have been denied access to their youngest grandchild.
Another woman I met told me that her sister had been missing and found. Although we didn't discuss the circumstances she appeared to be strong and very supportive of everyone there. She said she had researched CUE and came out to meet us. She was interested in both our conference and possibly becoming a State Coordinator. She brought with her the mother of a formerly missing, who appeared very fresh. I first met her by the roadside posters and thought she was family of one of the missing here. While working our banner spot I could see her talking to Harlan and David, she then came towards me and I offered her a marker to sign the banner. She said she didn't know what to write so I suggested she read some comments for inspiration. She sat down on the ground in front of the banner digesting all the faces and comments. This is when I learned that her daughter had recently been recovered. Her daughter, Brianna DiBattiste, went missing in June, was recovered in September and had been put to rest about 2 weeks ago.
This stop was quickly becoming the most emotional of the tour. Esther's family was in pain, Kelly's family was in pain, we had additional missing persons families showing up raw and in need of guidance, and now we had met a newly recovered mother clearly in pain. Everywhere you turned were people in different stages of the missing and recovered.
The press conference began with an older man hosting. A relative of Kelly's, he spoke of PTSD and how the only way we could heal was to talk. He said talk often, even if people get tired of listening to you, you must keep talking. Monica looked at me and smiled, she knows one of my biggest difficulties is thinking I talk too much about Mathew and that people are tired of hearing it. I really do know that this is mostly in my head and my problem, but it one of those things that continues to nag at me especially as the years he's been gone increases. Kelly's sister came forward to talk, she got emotional and had to walk away before finishing. Esther's family spoke, Monica spoke, Kelly's family read a poem for the missing and when we were asked if anyone else wanted to speak Brianna's mother came forward. I'm so glad she was able tell Brianna's story. When we learned that she had just buried her daughter, and yet made it here to be with all of us, I sensed she is going to be ok. Not now, maybe not for a long time but she is definitely taking the right steps. Just now I wanted to change the word ok. Are any of us mothers ever really ok after experience a missing and or recovered child? We are forever changed and never ok, but I can't think of another word to use. I have seen mothers not able to get out of bed, not able to leave the house, not able to function, still spending their days sobbing or visiting their child's graves daily even as years go by. So I guess what I mean by ok is that she's going to survive better than some. I encouraged her to come to the conference, by her being here today I think meeting all those families will really help in her healing process.
The balloon release was followed with tears and hugs that went on for longer than usual. As I've said before, this was a highly emotional stop and everyone seemed to be bonding now, after all the speeches. Then Monica was given flowers, and Kelly's family were all presented with framed pictures of her. We stayed a little longer helping to clean up, in no particular rush to get back on the road. It took me longer than usual after we left to shake the sadness. We asked Monica to share with us her knowledge of these cases. This is something we often do and something that usually helps me process the stop and the families. Yet I can't seem to get past all the people I met today and how much they all need their loved ones found. Then again, that goes for all the families both on this year's tour and everywhere.
Elisa
Kokomo Indiana. Roadside stop for the families of Kelly Armstrong and Esther Westenbarger. Both of these women went missing from Kokomo, and both families are here representing their loved ones in large numbers. As we pull into the parking lot you can see all the colorful posters of the missing lined up along the street. Interspersed between are posters of sayings, such as Every Missing Person Is Someone's Child and When I Want To Give Up, Hope Whisters Try One More Time. They have set up a map of Indiana with pushpins representing all the state's missing and from where in the state. There is a tree with colorful leaves attached representing the missing, each leaf has a missing persons name and where they went missing from. This tree of the missing is labeled the Tree Of Hope. Both families have their own tables set up with lots of pictures, and lots of balloons.
Kelly Armstrong went missing in 2011. She was 27 and living in a trailer with her boyfriend and young child. Her sister had been trying to reach her, the boyfriend always answered her calls and gave excuses as to why Kelly couldn't talk. Finally, the police were asked to do a welfare check and when they failed to reach Kelly, her sister reported her missing. Bloodstained carpet in the trailer was found to be Kelly's and within a few months the boyfriend confessed to killing Kelly. He has said that he put her body into a garbage container and watched a truck take it away. He has plead guilty to voluntary manslaughter. Authorities believe Kelly may be in a landfill, even though it has been searched and nothing has been found. Whether she is or isn't there and just because the boyfriend is now serving time, is meaningless until Kelly is found and returned to her family.
Esther Westenbarger had recently moved to Kokomo to be closer to her mother and siblings. She was also living in a trailer when she went missing in 2009, but that's where the sililarities to Kelly end. She had been out with friends at a bar, left her car there and went to another bar. It is believed that she went missing after leaving the second bar to go back for her car. Her car is also still missing.
While looking at the road signs I came across a couple with missing t shirts and found out that their daughter was also missing from the area. Ashley Morris Mullis disappeared in 2013. She was a 27 year old mother of three young children when she went missing. Her husband, the father of the then 5 year old and the then 2 year old has both been granted a divorce and gotten custody of his children since she disappeared. Her youngest child who was approximately 3 months old when she was last seen lives with the family of her then boyfriend and Ashley's parents have been denied access to their youngest grandchild.
Another woman I met told me that her sister had been missing and found. Although we didn't discuss the circumstances she appeared to be strong and very supportive of everyone there. She said she had researched CUE and came out to meet us. She was interested in both our conference and possibly becoming a State Coordinator. She brought with her the mother of a formerly missing, who appeared very fresh. I first met her by the roadside posters and thought she was family of one of the missing here. While working our banner spot I could see her talking to Harlan and David, she then came towards me and I offered her a marker to sign the banner. She said she didn't know what to write so I suggested she read some comments for inspiration. She sat down on the ground in front of the banner digesting all the faces and comments. This is when I learned that her daughter had recently been recovered. Her daughter, Brianna DiBattiste, went missing in June, was recovered in September and had been put to rest about 2 weeks ago.
This stop was quickly becoming the most emotional of the tour. Esther's family was in pain, Kelly's family was in pain, we had additional missing persons families showing up raw and in need of guidance, and now we had met a newly recovered mother clearly in pain. Everywhere you turned were people in different stages of the missing and recovered.
The press conference began with an older man hosting. A relative of Kelly's, he spoke of PTSD and how the only way we could heal was to talk. He said talk often, even if people get tired of listening to you, you must keep talking. Monica looked at me and smiled, she knows one of my biggest difficulties is thinking I talk too much about Mathew and that people are tired of hearing it. I really do know that this is mostly in my head and my problem, but it one of those things that continues to nag at me especially as the years he's been gone increases. Kelly's sister came forward to talk, she got emotional and had to walk away before finishing. Esther's family spoke, Monica spoke, Kelly's family read a poem for the missing and when we were asked if anyone else wanted to speak Brianna's mother came forward. I'm so glad she was able tell Brianna's story. When we learned that she had just buried her daughter, and yet made it here to be with all of us, I sensed she is going to be ok. Not now, maybe not for a long time but she is definitely taking the right steps. Just now I wanted to change the word ok. Are any of us mothers ever really ok after experience a missing and or recovered child? We are forever changed and never ok, but I can't think of another word to use. I have seen mothers not able to get out of bed, not able to leave the house, not able to function, still spending their days sobbing or visiting their child's graves daily even as years go by. So I guess what I mean by ok is that she's going to survive better than some. I encouraged her to come to the conference, by her being here today I think meeting all those families will really help in her healing process.
The balloon release was followed with tears and hugs that went on for longer than usual. As I've said before, this was a highly emotional stop and everyone seemed to be bonding now, after all the speeches. Then Monica was given flowers, and Kelly's family were all presented with framed pictures of her. We stayed a little longer helping to clean up, in no particular rush to get back on the road. It took me longer than usual after we left to shake the sadness. We asked Monica to share with us her knowledge of these cases. This is something we often do and something that usually helps me process the stop and the families. Yet I can't seem to get past all the people I met today and how much they all need their loved ones found. Then again, that goes for all the families both on this year's tour and everywhere.
Elisa
Friday, October 31, 2014
Rally Stop Meriden, CT
Rally Stop Meriden, CT
It's morning and we are rushing to pack up and get to our stop today, being we drove until 3 am we are all feeling a little rough, everyone drinks coffee but me, so.....you can do the math. I am looking forward to this stop as it is the museum for law enforcement and contains so much history. It will be a good distraction from all the emotions that are piling up as we travel through the tour thus far.
Donna did a great job with all her visuals and making sure her agenda played out to her perfection. Families, press, law enforcement and guest were all accounted for and the message of the day was revisiting cold cases and the importance of it all. I had time to speak with many folks while their after the program was over while others networked and enjoyed the table of coffee and goodies, it was good as it gave me time to catch my breath.
I met and spoke in private with some families but the one who stuck in me head and heart all day was a Spanish family, they needed help, their story was very sad and they have not been treated with much respect at all. A mother reported her son missing when he did not return from the store and a storm came in beating down on their little home that night, she explains all she went through fighting tears with no success. Then days later a violent crime committed came to light and the media comes to interview people in the neighborhood to get their reaction, only to find out they are speaking about her son. He still has not been found. I held the hand of his broken father and felt every inch of his grief, I made a promise to help them. People who know me, know I do not like making promises always afraid something will happen that will prevent me from keeping my word, I take this very seriously. But I did and I will, they need it!
This song is very fitting for the way I felt for this family
http://youtu.be/evO6GGOkSug
You see the Spanish people who make great sacrifices to travel here seek a freedom we Americans speak of and yes although most come here illegally it does not mean we should not have compassion or treat them as they not worthy. How sad I feel that in most cases, this does play a role in how the case gets worked or if at all. Sadly, because of their status they cannot push their case as they are afraid of what may happen to them. It's not my place to judge, all I know is a child is missing, a crime has happen and a justice needs to be afforded to an innocent boy. The rest can talk amongst themselves.
I briefly walked through the museum and experience a travel back in time, wow how far law enforcement has come in the day of technology, then I came upon the "in memory room". It makes you take a moment to to give honor and read about these strangers who gave their life for our safety and protection, a grim reminder of how cruel this world really is at times. Finally I am looking at the K9 memorial wall, I stand and think of my loss, Heidi and relate to all the officers who lost their K9, I feel burden and then a flood of my my own memories and that I had been through with Heidi as well as our travels together, it becomes more than I need to visit with today, so I leave the museum to get re focused.
All and all it was an awesome stop and I feel time here has made a difference. As we pack up to leave and say our goodbyes I feel a renewed sense of justice for the OLD not cold cases, their are investigators out there that are making the difference and solving them, I remain hopefully today.
Monica Caison LYMI
It's morning and we are rushing to pack up and get to our stop today, being we drove until 3 am we are all feeling a little rough, everyone drinks coffee but me, so.....you can do the math. I am looking forward to this stop as it is the museum for law enforcement and contains so much history. It will be a good distraction from all the emotions that are piling up as we travel through the tour thus far.
Donna did a great job with all her visuals and making sure her agenda played out to her perfection. Families, press, law enforcement and guest were all accounted for and the message of the day was revisiting cold cases and the importance of it all. I had time to speak with many folks while their after the program was over while others networked and enjoyed the table of coffee and goodies, it was good as it gave me time to catch my breath.
I met and spoke in private with some families but the one who stuck in me head and heart all day was a Spanish family, they needed help, their story was very sad and they have not been treated with much respect at all. A mother reported her son missing when he did not return from the store and a storm came in beating down on their little home that night, she explains all she went through fighting tears with no success. Then days later a violent crime committed came to light and the media comes to interview people in the neighborhood to get their reaction, only to find out they are speaking about her son. He still has not been found. I held the hand of his broken father and felt every inch of his grief, I made a promise to help them. People who know me, know I do not like making promises always afraid something will happen that will prevent me from keeping my word, I take this very seriously. But I did and I will, they need it!
This song is very fitting for the way I felt for this family
http://youtu.be/evO6GGOkSug
You see the Spanish people who make great sacrifices to travel here seek a freedom we Americans speak of and yes although most come here illegally it does not mean we should not have compassion or treat them as they not worthy. How sad I feel that in most cases, this does play a role in how the case gets worked or if at all. Sadly, because of their status they cannot push their case as they are afraid of what may happen to them. It's not my place to judge, all I know is a child is missing, a crime has happen and a justice needs to be afforded to an innocent boy. The rest can talk amongst themselves.
I briefly walked through the museum and experience a travel back in time, wow how far law enforcement has come in the day of technology, then I came upon the "in memory room". It makes you take a moment to to give honor and read about these strangers who gave their life for our safety and protection, a grim reminder of how cruel this world really is at times. Finally I am looking at the K9 memorial wall, I stand and think of my loss, Heidi and relate to all the officers who lost their K9, I feel burden and then a flood of my my own memories and that I had been through with Heidi as well as our travels together, it becomes more than I need to visit with today, so I leave the museum to get re focused.
All and all it was an awesome stop and I feel time here has made a difference. As we pack up to leave and say our goodbyes I feel a renewed sense of justice for the OLD not cold cases, their are investigators out there that are making the difference and solving them, I remain hopefully today.
Monica Caison LYMI
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Clinton Iowa Elisa
We left Minnesota on a relaxed high. We've made it over half way through the tour. We've gotten through the initial confusion of what to take out at each stop, who is fulfilling what roles and realize from here on out it's going to go faster and faster until the end. Up until today every day had 3 stops with lots of late night driving. From now on we have less stops each day, but still a lot of driving to do. We leave around noon and don't have to be in Iowa until 7, with the drive only 5 hours. Cool that! We stop for lunch and some scenic pictures. Before you know it we need to rush again. At least we are staying in the Central Time Zone.
Benjamin Roseland went missing in 2008. He was 19 years old and visiting friends. He left the apartment at 10:30pm to walk to a grocery store for something to eat. He never arrived there and has not been seen since. The shoes he was wearing were discovered blocks apart from one another during one of the many searches conducted for him.
We pull in front of the Sacret Hearts Chapel, the location for tonight's vigil. Luckily, someone is waiting outside so we know we can unload a table of things and park in the rear. It's a beautiful church and filled with family, friends and members of the community. All ages are present here tonight. Ben's Aunt Julie greets us and is hosting the vigil. She says tonight is not a night to be sad, it's a night of hope and a night to get Ben's information out. Ben's 2 sisters spoke. His younger sister, Helen, was only 15 when Ben disappeared and wasn't able to do much back then. Now that she's older she says she is taking on a bigger role in attempting to find out what happened to her big brother 6 years ago. Ben's older sister, Audra, spoke of her work in the science field and how things should follow a logical path. How her brain cannot accept Ben just vanishing. She speaks of all the things Ben has missed and brings her children up, a daughter who I believe was a baby when Ben went missing, and a son who was born after Ben's disappearance. Life marches forward, lives change, time goes by, we get older. Yet for families of the missing, at the same time, nothing changes at all. They are still waiting for answers, they think daily about what happened, what more can be done. Constantly second guessing decisions and actions, constantly doing the what ifs...Audra asks the audience if anyone has any questions and her little boy, standing besides her raises his hand. She looks down at him "Do you have a question?" "Yes", he responds "Why is he missing?"
Missing teenage boys, my Achilles heel. Yet even with Ben's nephew asking probing questions and tears being shed, this family worked hard at keeping things upbeat. Real tears can be shed later, celebrating Ben was more important for right now. Everyone needed to be out of the church by 8:30 so there was a world wind of activity cleaning up as we brought the van out front for more pictures. Julie insisted on taking photos of us, pictures of the 5 of us are scarce so we appreciated that. As the family takes turns taking pictures besides the van Audra's children are asked to find their uncle. They point up at him and turn smiling for the camera. Then this vocal little boy announces to whoever will listen, "I've never met him".
Elisa
Benjamin Roseland went missing in 2008. He was 19 years old and visiting friends. He left the apartment at 10:30pm to walk to a grocery store for something to eat. He never arrived there and has not been seen since. The shoes he was wearing were discovered blocks apart from one another during one of the many searches conducted for him.
We pull in front of the Sacret Hearts Chapel, the location for tonight's vigil. Luckily, someone is waiting outside so we know we can unload a table of things and park in the rear. It's a beautiful church and filled with family, friends and members of the community. All ages are present here tonight. Ben's Aunt Julie greets us and is hosting the vigil. She says tonight is not a night to be sad, it's a night of hope and a night to get Ben's information out. Ben's 2 sisters spoke. His younger sister, Helen, was only 15 when Ben disappeared and wasn't able to do much back then. Now that she's older she says she is taking on a bigger role in attempting to find out what happened to her big brother 6 years ago. Ben's older sister, Audra, spoke of her work in the science field and how things should follow a logical path. How her brain cannot accept Ben just vanishing. She speaks of all the things Ben has missed and brings her children up, a daughter who I believe was a baby when Ben went missing, and a son who was born after Ben's disappearance. Life marches forward, lives change, time goes by, we get older. Yet for families of the missing, at the same time, nothing changes at all. They are still waiting for answers, they think daily about what happened, what more can be done. Constantly second guessing decisions and actions, constantly doing the what ifs...Audra asks the audience if anyone has any questions and her little boy, standing besides her raises his hand. She looks down at him "Do you have a question?" "Yes", he responds "Why is he missing?"
Missing teenage boys, my Achilles heel. Yet even with Ben's nephew asking probing questions and tears being shed, this family worked hard at keeping things upbeat. Real tears can be shed later, celebrating Ben was more important for right now. Everyone needed to be out of the church by 8:30 so there was a world wind of activity cleaning up as we brought the van out front for more pictures. Julie insisted on taking photos of us, pictures of the 5 of us are scarce so we appreciated that. As the family takes turns taking pictures besides the van Audra's children are asked to find their uncle. They point up at him and turn smiling for the camera. Then this vocal little boy announces to whoever will listen, "I've never met him".
Elisa
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Rally Stop Fredericksburg, VA
Rally Stop Fredericksburg, VA
We are driving and trying to get though the late day traffic where everyone is a hurry to get somewhere. We arrive to our stop in plain site along the busy roadway with a live radio station telling listeners all about what is happening here. Some beep but keep moving, others stop in briefly and those who pass are reminded of those missing in Virginia. As always until something tragic like a missing person happens to a person they really lend no major effort of getting involved, it just has to be okay today, so I leave that alone.
This stop is like almost a reunion for me seeing families I have not seen in a while, sadly this only means that their person is still missing. Madonna and others have set up tents aligned with banners, signage and beautiful table displays marking all of the missing featured today and that they matter, they existed! Speakers execute their message, most who spoke were suffering a missing person and as their words flow out they tremble with held back tears trying to be heard. This part of our stops is the most heart wrenching as each story is so very important.
You see people who suffer the cruelties of a missing person have to tell their story, no matter how many times it takes to afford the right person to hear it. Meaning, a day will come that the message is received by someone who may know something, that can help with a tip or lead in the investigation; a vital part of advocacy. Families have to learn its meaning and play this role in each case.
Organizations and advocates must teach families this great lesson. I witness this today, Madonna and other families standing up and taking on the fight, present to endure the battle they profess to one day claim victory. I continue to learn so much from those who our center has helped, watching victims gain a solid ground and utilize the tools and information we provide and experiencing the tides that turn to victim no more, I smile inside. I was taught that a good advocate is to teach their victim to become their own advocate, and be of help when they stumble or fall. CUE does this daily and I am proud of all those who work to make this happen.
Ending the day with this stop left a lot for me to think about for the several hours we had left to travel onward to Connecticut, cases featured ranged from months to decades on this day, but the feeling of loss was like it happened yesterday for all who stood there waving goodbye in our rear view mirror.
Monica Caison LYMI
We are driving and trying to get though the late day traffic where everyone is a hurry to get somewhere. We arrive to our stop in plain site along the busy roadway with a live radio station telling listeners all about what is happening here. Some beep but keep moving, others stop in briefly and those who pass are reminded of those missing in Virginia. As always until something tragic like a missing person happens to a person they really lend no major effort of getting involved, it just has to be okay today, so I leave that alone.
This stop is like almost a reunion for me seeing families I have not seen in a while, sadly this only means that their person is still missing. Madonna and others have set up tents aligned with banners, signage and beautiful table displays marking all of the missing featured today and that they matter, they existed! Speakers execute their message, most who spoke were suffering a missing person and as their words flow out they tremble with held back tears trying to be heard. This part of our stops is the most heart wrenching as each story is so very important.
You see people who suffer the cruelties of a missing person have to tell their story, no matter how many times it takes to afford the right person to hear it. Meaning, a day will come that the message is received by someone who may know something, that can help with a tip or lead in the investigation; a vital part of advocacy. Families have to learn its meaning and play this role in each case.
advocacy
noun
noun: advocacy
- public support for or recommendation of a particular cause or policy:"their advocacy of traditional family values"synonyms: support for · backing of · promotion of · championing of · argument for ·push for · boosterism of
Organizations and advocates must teach families this great lesson. I witness this today, Madonna and other families standing up and taking on the fight, present to endure the battle they profess to one day claim victory. I continue to learn so much from those who our center has helped, watching victims gain a solid ground and utilize the tools and information we provide and experiencing the tides that turn to victim no more, I smile inside. I was taught that a good advocate is to teach their victim to become their own advocate, and be of help when they stumble or fall. CUE does this daily and I am proud of all those who work to make this happen.
Ending the day with this stop left a lot for me to think about for the several hours we had left to travel onward to Connecticut, cases featured ranged from months to decades on this day, but the feeling of loss was like it happened yesterday for all who stood there waving goodbye in our rear view mirror.
Monica Caison LYMI
Wabasha MN Elisa
We left Illinois with a 6 hour drive in the dark and with it pouring rain. We hoped to drive half, stop somewhere in Wisconsin and leave early in the morning. The long nighttime driving is stressful, and I don't even do the driving, the rain makes it worse. We worry about finding a motel late at night, and though it might seem easy to run in and get a few hours sleep, it is not. Checking in and carrying everything for a few hours when you are exhausted is not fun, and it's worse when it's cold and raining. Usually I check and make sure what time we need to leave, but for some reason I only thought that we were 3 hours away and went with that, not taking into account the extra half hour leeway that I usually give us for traffic, gas, etc. I wake in a panic and try to rush everyone but we start the morning in a big rush knowing we may be late. We somehow make up the time on the road until we need to get gas. Monica informs us that as soon as the tank is full she is leaving as we all rush towards the bathrooms. Arrival times can be tricky, you want to be there within a 5 minute window of the scheduled time. If we are earlier than that, great, we stop and eat, or freshen up. Anytime over 2 minutes late and we stress. Especially today because this stop is for our Tour Honoree, and also because it's a Law Enforcement stop and they always run early.
It's a beautiful day out and the views on the ride are incredible. Colorful fall trees, scenic mountain views, the sky hitting the water, just mesmerizing. As we get close Tricia Reis, our Minnesota State Outreach Coordinator starts checking on us and our arrival time. Just as we thought everyone was there early and awaiting us. There was even some consideration to starting without us which luckily didn't occur. I think we ended up being 10 minutes late to the Wabasha County Government Center, what looks to be a new building surrounded by individual trees with red leaves. At a LE stop sometimes we can't set up a table, we never know the rules arriving so we send Monica quickly off and just grab the banner .
As we enter the room there's an easel with a Leave A Message For Donna Board. The room is full of LE, press, volunteers and family members. There is a CUE table already set up thanks to this being a tour hosted by one of our State Directors and we are also allowed to have one. Tricia has provided everyone with Child ID kits as well as our new coloring book. She has door prizes and the family has a table set up front in Donna's honor.
Donna Ingesoll was 25 years old when she went missing in 1990, almost 24 years ago. She had an argument with her boyfriend that day and left her apartment without any belongings, possibly without even her coat in the dead of winter. A year after her disappearance her boyfriend committed suicide without ever being cleared as a suspect. Donna is my age and I can't imagine my family not knowing what happened to me. I wonder if her parents are alive, how her sisters are dealing with the renewed interest in her case and all the new relatives that have been born into this nightmare possibly being already grown.
Donna's sister, Christina, attempts to read a poem that she wrote "Not Knowing", but she is full of emotion and can't get through it so Tricia calls up a member of the newly created City of Wabasha Cold Case Unit, Miranda Klees, to stand by Christiana's side and finish it for her. Some of the poem.... It's been over twenty some years, still no word, no grave, no marker to visit...... Not knowing what happened to you or where you are, whether you're still alive or dead.... Not knowing one way or the other that's the hard part, the puzzling part, the unable to move on and heal wholly part...
Both the Wabasha County Sheriff and the Wabasha Chief of Police spoke. Donna's case has been handed down over the years with incoming LE always pledging to find her. This year they reached out to CUE and reopened the investigation with the hopes of being proactive instead of reactive. We are told its been the case that has haunted the department for decades and that the family deserves closure, that the community deserves closure and that law enforcement deserves closure. The Mayor gets up to speak, choking up and holding back tears, he welcomes us to his city, while wishing he didn't need to. His emotional reaction effects everyone here.
After the press conference is over we have some time to talk and look around better. There a photo album of Donna out. There are some volunteers helping Tricia, who have recently become CUE volunteers. Everyone here is on the same page, one of renewed hope. Donna's table is decorated for Christmas since that has always been her favorite holiday, it's so creative. In complimenting it to Donna's sister she insists on giving credit to Miranda. There is a list there of all the holidays that Donna has missed since her disappearance. 24 New Years, 25 Christmases, a mind blowing total of 238 holidays. Another list, 10 Things You Maybe Didn't Know About Me lists that she was in the Army Reserves, and loves children and animals. Number 10 simply said My Life Matters!
Elisa
It's a beautiful day out and the views on the ride are incredible. Colorful fall trees, scenic mountain views, the sky hitting the water, just mesmerizing. As we get close Tricia Reis, our Minnesota State Outreach Coordinator starts checking on us and our arrival time. Just as we thought everyone was there early and awaiting us. There was even some consideration to starting without us which luckily didn't occur. I think we ended up being 10 minutes late to the Wabasha County Government Center, what looks to be a new building surrounded by individual trees with red leaves. At a LE stop sometimes we can't set up a table, we never know the rules arriving so we send Monica quickly off and just grab the banner .
As we enter the room there's an easel with a Leave A Message For Donna Board. The room is full of LE, press, volunteers and family members. There is a CUE table already set up thanks to this being a tour hosted by one of our State Directors and we are also allowed to have one. Tricia has provided everyone with Child ID kits as well as our new coloring book. She has door prizes and the family has a table set up front in Donna's honor.
Donna Ingesoll was 25 years old when she went missing in 1990, almost 24 years ago. She had an argument with her boyfriend that day and left her apartment without any belongings, possibly without even her coat in the dead of winter. A year after her disappearance her boyfriend committed suicide without ever being cleared as a suspect. Donna is my age and I can't imagine my family not knowing what happened to me. I wonder if her parents are alive, how her sisters are dealing with the renewed interest in her case and all the new relatives that have been born into this nightmare possibly being already grown.
Donna's sister, Christina, attempts to read a poem that she wrote "Not Knowing", but she is full of emotion and can't get through it so Tricia calls up a member of the newly created City of Wabasha Cold Case Unit, Miranda Klees, to stand by Christiana's side and finish it for her. Some of the poem.... It's been over twenty some years, still no word, no grave, no marker to visit...... Not knowing what happened to you or where you are, whether you're still alive or dead.... Not knowing one way or the other that's the hard part, the puzzling part, the unable to move on and heal wholly part...
Both the Wabasha County Sheriff and the Wabasha Chief of Police spoke. Donna's case has been handed down over the years with incoming LE always pledging to find her. This year they reached out to CUE and reopened the investigation with the hopes of being proactive instead of reactive. We are told its been the case that has haunted the department for decades and that the family deserves closure, that the community deserves closure and that law enforcement deserves closure. The Mayor gets up to speak, choking up and holding back tears, he welcomes us to his city, while wishing he didn't need to. His emotional reaction effects everyone here.
After the press conference is over we have some time to talk and look around better. There a photo album of Donna out. There are some volunteers helping Tricia, who have recently become CUE volunteers. Everyone here is on the same page, one of renewed hope. Donna's table is decorated for Christmas since that has always been her favorite holiday, it's so creative. In complimenting it to Donna's sister she insists on giving credit to Miranda. There is a list there of all the holidays that Donna has missed since her disappearance. 24 New Years, 25 Christmases, a mind blowing total of 238 holidays. Another list, 10 Things You Maybe Didn't Know About Me lists that she was in the Army Reserves, and loves children and animals. Number 10 simply said My Life Matters!
Elisa
Rally Stop Charlottesville, VA
Rally Stop - Charlottesville, VA
The rain has stopped and the sun is trying to peak in just a little; rain always brings growth and a sense of renewal. This park setting is surrounded by great scenery and the entrance is well marked that this is our next stop; no matter which way you choose to look their are visuals of the missing.
Families of the missing are greeted as they arrive and shuttle under the park shelter, others are filling balloons and their is a steady flow of busy people moving about to make everything just perfect. I stand back and capture all that is happening as I play witness to a community working together, all for one cause, the missing and its an accomplished feeling. Then a reporter steps up and begins to tell me about how he was affected years ago by certain stories of the missing and murdered, we share stories for while.
As the program begins and people share their journeys, I find myself wondering, will this always be like this, those who continue to vanish and those who devote their life to find them? Most of these cases here today are fairly recent, although one day is to long to suffer a missing loved one, but I cannot shake the thoughts of cases we have of 7, 15, 20 or even more years missing. I am weighed down by these intrusive thoughts today.
I had an elderly woman once tell me a long time ago that she would love to spend a day in my mind to see what all goes on and to have the knowledge and experience she felt I had in the world of the missing. As I was reminded of her and of her passing, for a moment I thought "yeah", I'd wish I could give it all away on someday's.
You see over and over, year after year, their are people in the thousands that wake up to a normal day of activities, then a window is slammed as they become a family now enduring the unknown fate of a missing loved one. Their life is on display for all to judge, they are afforded no privacy, they are forced to trust strangers with all they have to offer, as they try to hold onto that "hope".
One soon discovers that hope can be many things from, I hope they are alive, I hope I can get through this, I hope they find my loved one, I hope they can get a conviction and the list goes on. I say this all because I too hope, but I have come to understand that believing has to be attached to hope. We can all hope for situations to change, but without the action of faith - belief it normally does not. So in a simple thought, I know this tour we take each year brings forth that hope, but the actions and belief of so many that come together is vital in the process of change.
In a circle we prayed, then lifted our heads upward to watch the balloons set free with many announcing out loud the name of their missing person, their is was "that very moment", when hope was attached to faith - belief.
We depart from this stop feeling a renewal of the strength in our families we serve here.
Monica Caison LYMI
The rain has stopped and the sun is trying to peak in just a little; rain always brings growth and a sense of renewal. This park setting is surrounded by great scenery and the entrance is well marked that this is our next stop; no matter which way you choose to look their are visuals of the missing.
Families of the missing are greeted as they arrive and shuttle under the park shelter, others are filling balloons and their is a steady flow of busy people moving about to make everything just perfect. I stand back and capture all that is happening as I play witness to a community working together, all for one cause, the missing and its an accomplished feeling. Then a reporter steps up and begins to tell me about how he was affected years ago by certain stories of the missing and murdered, we share stories for while.
As the program begins and people share their journeys, I find myself wondering, will this always be like this, those who continue to vanish and those who devote their life to find them? Most of these cases here today are fairly recent, although one day is to long to suffer a missing loved one, but I cannot shake the thoughts of cases we have of 7, 15, 20 or even more years missing. I am weighed down by these intrusive thoughts today.
I had an elderly woman once tell me a long time ago that she would love to spend a day in my mind to see what all goes on and to have the knowledge and experience she felt I had in the world of the missing. As I was reminded of her and of her passing, for a moment I thought "yeah", I'd wish I could give it all away on someday's.
You see over and over, year after year, their are people in the thousands that wake up to a normal day of activities, then a window is slammed as they become a family now enduring the unknown fate of a missing loved one. Their life is on display for all to judge, they are afforded no privacy, they are forced to trust strangers with all they have to offer, as they try to hold onto that "hope".
One soon discovers that hope can be many things from, I hope they are alive, I hope I can get through this, I hope they find my loved one, I hope they can get a conviction and the list goes on. I say this all because I too hope, but I have come to understand that believing has to be attached to hope. We can all hope for situations to change, but without the action of faith - belief it normally does not. So in a simple thought, I know this tour we take each year brings forth that hope, but the actions and belief of so many that come together is vital in the process of change.
In a circle we prayed, then lifted our heads upward to watch the balloons set free with many announcing out loud the name of their missing person, their is was "that very moment", when hope was attached to faith - belief.
We depart from this stop feeling a renewal of the strength in our families we serve here.
Monica Caison LYMI
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Rally Stop Lovingston, VA
Rally Stop - Lovingston, VA
Through the mist of the fog and drizzling rain I look to see whats ahead for Alexis Murphy's stop; I was told we would be dedicating a garden and Shawn shared all the wonderful things about those helping and items donated. I am looking forward to this stop. I think because it is outdoors and I really love these type of settings, a place to go is important for times in life that a person may need to be somewhere private.
We pull in a walk way of missing people staked into the ground leading the direction of the path to our destination. Under full trees that reach out to the sky for life but shading the undergrowth of plants and flowers everywhere, there lies a bench facing the busy world at a glance. I take a deep breath as I see in the distance a framed photo of Alexis on a wooden cut tree stump, I am quickly reminded of why we are here and I am not so excited anymore.
I look further beyond that point to see all of a sudden people entering the path and the rain is picking up somewhat, I feel hundreds of angels are crying as more people begin to gather under the trees for shelter. You here many talking, see them hug and some go immediately to capture the view photos of the missing on display. A thickness begins to build of soft mourning, you can feel the heart break as the Harrington's enter into the scenery, a shared understanding without a word spoken.
Speakers and families line up to begin, everyone listens intensely to each word, people are crying but you cannot really see that as the rain mixes with the tears; passion for justice is embedded in each message spoken today. You see no matter what stage in your case you are a,t you always want to be heard and want to feel justice for your loved one. Someone has to take responsibility for all the pain they cause, right? The one thing I have found that ALL families experience the same is the constant loss, through the missing part - the court room and justice - and the final recovery. The public never really sees the roller coaster ride of emotion families left behind go through nor can thy grasp how they are forever changed by this tragedy.
As things come to an end, many linger around not wanting to leave, the families stand by waving people onward and thank yous are heard a million times over, as if they are giving you permission to leave, and finally everyone does. We are packing up after our goodbyes and I can heard in the distance reporters practicing their intros for this breaking news and others yelling I love you through the rain, sounds of people rushing off and car doors close, and then you realize this stop is over.
My thoughts focus to time allowing us to get to the next stop so I do not have to feel the impact of separation from all that I just experienced, I will save that for later when the day nears an end and I am in private.
Monica Caison LYMI
Through the mist of the fog and drizzling rain I look to see whats ahead for Alexis Murphy's stop; I was told we would be dedicating a garden and Shawn shared all the wonderful things about those helping and items donated. I am looking forward to this stop. I think because it is outdoors and I really love these type of settings, a place to go is important for times in life that a person may need to be somewhere private.
We pull in a walk way of missing people staked into the ground leading the direction of the path to our destination. Under full trees that reach out to the sky for life but shading the undergrowth of plants and flowers everywhere, there lies a bench facing the busy world at a glance. I take a deep breath as I see in the distance a framed photo of Alexis on a wooden cut tree stump, I am quickly reminded of why we are here and I am not so excited anymore.
I look further beyond that point to see all of a sudden people entering the path and the rain is picking up somewhat, I feel hundreds of angels are crying as more people begin to gather under the trees for shelter. You here many talking, see them hug and some go immediately to capture the view photos of the missing on display. A thickness begins to build of soft mourning, you can feel the heart break as the Harrington's enter into the scenery, a shared understanding without a word spoken.
Speakers and families line up to begin, everyone listens intensely to each word, people are crying but you cannot really see that as the rain mixes with the tears; passion for justice is embedded in each message spoken today. You see no matter what stage in your case you are a,t you always want to be heard and want to feel justice for your loved one. Someone has to take responsibility for all the pain they cause, right? The one thing I have found that ALL families experience the same is the constant loss, through the missing part - the court room and justice - and the final recovery. The public never really sees the roller coaster ride of emotion families left behind go through nor can thy grasp how they are forever changed by this tragedy.
As things come to an end, many linger around not wanting to leave, the families stand by waving people onward and thank yous are heard a million times over, as if they are giving you permission to leave, and finally everyone does. We are packing up after our goodbyes and I can heard in the distance reporters practicing their intros for this breaking news and others yelling I love you through the rain, sounds of people rushing off and car doors close, and then you realize this stop is over.
My thoughts focus to time allowing us to get to the next stop so I do not have to feel the impact of separation from all that I just experienced, I will save that for later when the day nears an end and I am in private.
Monica Caison LYMI
Rally Stop Rocky Mount, VA
Rally Stop - Rocky Mount, VA
We are driving into the darkness it appears the rain is becoming relentless, I think about all those who I know will be there waiting on us no matter the conditions, and I smile. I think of the hundreds of times I have stood and searched in horrible weather conditions for those who are missing, it really does not matter to most that work in this arena. I think I even wrote a poem once about that.
So we arrive and things have already been in motion on this day as speakers and media had provided coverage of the missing and event slated for this evening. We jump right in and say a few words and went through some introductions as we moved on down the boat ramp to launch little boats so amazingly handcrafted by volunteers. Each boat housed a photo of a missing person and lit candle. Families gathered at the waters edge and gave a push, as some cried, others watched and many said a silent prayer as they followed the floating craft down stream. It was a sight to see and that feeling lingered with me for the rest of the night.
I realized the rain had stopped once everyone went to participate in the launching of the boats, I silently wonder if anyone else noticed, it weird how things like this happen often, God will allow a peace to flow and change the situation. It was a very humble event to end our day touring.
I leave this stop with pride, our directors program we launched is strong in Virginia and growing; although this is the first Virginia stop they have done a great job with not only their hosted stop, but working to involve and support the families left behind. So much volunteer work goes daily unnoticed by dedicated people to the cause, I am blessed to have so many great folks who join CUE and give of themselves so freely.
After a restless night I awoke to a radiant sunrise, a reminder for me that their is something out there way larger then any of us, so I took the opportunity to spend some time alone in prayer.
A Burst of Sorrow
7/2/2002
Written by : Monica Caison
Standing here alone tonight
I can hardly breathe
The sinking pain within my soul
Is nothing you can see
The sky could fall or lightening strike
I wouldn't feel a thing
The meaning of this endless flight
An angel caught by wings
So real are thoughts we try to hide
Offered through a smile
A gesture or a kind word
Is torment for a while
Comfort seems to be a thought
And the feeling is out of reach
The words, I can bare no more
Poured on me to keep
I'm standing here alone tonight
Desperate to see your face
Then the truth hits so hard
Your missing without a trace
We are driving into the darkness it appears the rain is becoming relentless, I think about all those who I know will be there waiting on us no matter the conditions, and I smile. I think of the hundreds of times I have stood and searched in horrible weather conditions for those who are missing, it really does not matter to most that work in this arena. I think I even wrote a poem once about that.
So we arrive and things have already been in motion on this day as speakers and media had provided coverage of the missing and event slated for this evening. We jump right in and say a few words and went through some introductions as we moved on down the boat ramp to launch little boats so amazingly handcrafted by volunteers. Each boat housed a photo of a missing person and lit candle. Families gathered at the waters edge and gave a push, as some cried, others watched and many said a silent prayer as they followed the floating craft down stream. It was a sight to see and that feeling lingered with me for the rest of the night.
I realized the rain had stopped once everyone went to participate in the launching of the boats, I silently wonder if anyone else noticed, it weird how things like this happen often, God will allow a peace to flow and change the situation. It was a very humble event to end our day touring.
I leave this stop with pride, our directors program we launched is strong in Virginia and growing; although this is the first Virginia stop they have done a great job with not only their hosted stop, but working to involve and support the families left behind. So much volunteer work goes daily unnoticed by dedicated people to the cause, I am blessed to have so many great folks who join CUE and give of themselves so freely.
After a restless night I awoke to a radiant sunrise, a reminder for me that their is something out there way larger then any of us, so I took the opportunity to spend some time alone in prayer.
A Burst of Sorrow
7/2/2002
Written by : Monica Caison
Standing here alone tonight
I can hardly breathe
The sinking pain within my soul
Is nothing you can see
The sky could fall or lightening strike
I wouldn't feel a thing
The meaning of this endless flight
An angel caught by wings
So real are thoughts we try to hide
Offered through a smile
A gesture or a kind word
Is torment for a while
Comfort seems to be a thought
And the feeling is out of reach
The words, I can bare no more
Poured on me to keep
I'm standing here alone tonight
Desperate to see your face
Then the truth hits so hard
Your missing without a trace
Rally Stop Roanoke Rapids, NC
Rally Stop - Roanoke Rapids, NC
This stop I have made before, sadly Shonda, Amy and Erica all remain missing. I am reminded of my time here in the past searching for Shonda and the tragic way of how she was failed when she screamed out that fearful night for help, to a stranger passing in her path.
Shonda found herself in danger late one night, she broke away and ran for her life crossing a dark rural road intersection, and the driver was to scared to help her and drove away calling 911 but losing connection. The sadness of it all was that fact that the 911 call was not able to be followed up on until days later. Her family had reported her missing prior to this call, but no one took that report seriously, until this call emerged, sadly all efforts were to late to help this woman in her crisis.
Call http://www.wral.com/news/local/video/1123383/
Cases like these are frustrating to families when they "know" something is wrong and they are stroked by strangers saying "they more than likely want to be missing" and "will turn up". The reality is they do turn up, but on the side of roadways and fields, in deep wooded areas, rivers and the most devastating, in the graveyard their families are forced to stand in. As an advocate and over my 20 years I have heard this so many times that it becomes a part of the daily discuss in this world. I think late at night God please don't ever anyone feel they have no help, this is the one thing that will always drive me to do more.
Over the years I see the children that are left behind growing up, but I also cannot deny the fact that the adults are getting older and become aged more than their years from all of the stress and worry for the missing person. I always pray for each family for peace, but strength for their journey no matter the length of that journey.
I take comfort in knowing this family is large and is reaching out to others who have a missing loved one to help them as well. Yes. they will survive but that is my point, life should not be just about getting through it day to day. I leave with knowing I will be returning to search again, as I will band with these families until a resolution is afforded.
Monica Caison LYMI
This stop I have made before, sadly Shonda, Amy and Erica all remain missing. I am reminded of my time here in the past searching for Shonda and the tragic way of how she was failed when she screamed out that fearful night for help, to a stranger passing in her path.
Shonda found herself in danger late one night, she broke away and ran for her life crossing a dark rural road intersection, and the driver was to scared to help her and drove away calling 911 but losing connection. The sadness of it all was that fact that the 911 call was not able to be followed up on until days later. Her family had reported her missing prior to this call, but no one took that report seriously, until this call emerged, sadly all efforts were to late to help this woman in her crisis.
Call http://www.wral.com/news/local/video/1123383/
Cases like these are frustrating to families when they "know" something is wrong and they are stroked by strangers saying "they more than likely want to be missing" and "will turn up". The reality is they do turn up, but on the side of roadways and fields, in deep wooded areas, rivers and the most devastating, in the graveyard their families are forced to stand in. As an advocate and over my 20 years I have heard this so many times that it becomes a part of the daily discuss in this world. I think late at night God please don't ever anyone feel they have no help, this is the one thing that will always drive me to do more.
Over the years I see the children that are left behind growing up, but I also cannot deny the fact that the adults are getting older and become aged more than their years from all of the stress and worry for the missing person. I always pray for each family for peace, but strength for their journey no matter the length of that journey.
I take comfort in knowing this family is large and is reaching out to others who have a missing loved one to help them as well. Yes. they will survive but that is my point, life should not be just about getting through it day to day. I leave with knowing I will be returning to search again, as I will band with these families until a resolution is afforded.
Monica Caison LYMI
Aquatic Center Bolingbrook IL Elisa
Stacy Peterson's stop. I suppose I can assume everyone has heard her story, but we all know where assumptions get us. Another thing, I don't know if anyone has noticed but I purposely try not to name perpetrators here, this is a forum for victims and their families. If anyone needs more information than I'm giving feel free to look it up. Now back to Stacy.
Stacy was a 23 year old mother when she went missing in 2007. Her husband says he last saw her leaving to meet friends but she never arrived. Her husband also states he spoke to her that night but that is unconfirmed. Stacy's car was found abandoned at a nearby airport with her husband stating that she told him she left it there, he also says he believes that she left him for another man. Stacy's loved ones maintain that she would never abandon her young children, that Stacy had said that her husband was abusive and controlling and that she planned to divorce him. One of Stacy's neighbors reported seeing her husband with another man carrying a large container (that was found missing from their home) around the time Stacy went missing. Stacy's husband's stepbrother has come forward to say he helped move this container and now believes Stacy may have been inside. Stacy's husband was eventually named a suspect in her disappearance and now presumed homicide. After Stacy went missing an investigation ensued over the death of her husband's third wife (Stacy being his fourth). It was originally ruled an accident and after exhuming her body the cause of death was changed to murder. Stacy's husband was arrested for his third wife's death in 2009 and he was convicted in 2012.
Let's now pause for a second and remember that Stacy is still missing. That her family suffers daily, that her children are growing up without a mother. When a conviction occurs people tend to feel justice has been served but there can be no moving forward without locating the missing person.
There are positives that have come out of this case. Positives... Positives yet she is still missing. The positives point to the perseverance of her family and to the law and possibly the corrections of flaws within it. A law was passed in Illinois in 2008 that allows hearsay evidence if prosecutors believe that the victim was killed to prevent his or her testimony. This law allowed witnesses to recount Stacy's statements about her husband's involvement in his third wife's murder, and her concerns that this same fate may be hers. In addition to this important piece of legislation we now have the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA), or the Evidentiary Affidavit of Abuse, which I learned at this rally stop was created in response to the disappearance of Stacy Peterson.
I first heard Susan Milano Murphy speak about the EAA a few years ago, and I have to say that I didn't really understand it at the time. I got the premise but I guess I never understood the importance till now. The goal, I believe, is to eliminate hearsay by giving victims of domestic abuse a way to ensure that their words about what has happened in the past or their fears of what may happen in the future will not disappear if they do, or if something happens to them. By creating an EAA you can document your history, injuries, scars, and threats made towards you. It can also be used in place of a will to ensure what should happen to children in the event of death, disappearance and or injury.
It was only an 8 minute ride from the park so we went for dinner, since we had another long driving night ahead of us. The rally stop was inside the Aquatic Center and and was hosted by Stacy Peterson's family. Some of the families from the park came along to this vigil as well. Stacy's family was well represented including some of its newest members that Stacy never got to meet. Along with speeches from family and Monica there was a speaker on domestic violence. A poem was out which said in part...I know you are missing, but I refuse to consider you gone, you are out there somewhere and your memory lives on... I suppose at this point you are at peace, if I could only find you my pain could cease... May your spirit be strong, long enough to succeed in punishing the people that caused your life to end because of greed.
Elisa
Stacy was a 23 year old mother when she went missing in 2007. Her husband says he last saw her leaving to meet friends but she never arrived. Her husband also states he spoke to her that night but that is unconfirmed. Stacy's car was found abandoned at a nearby airport with her husband stating that she told him she left it there, he also says he believes that she left him for another man. Stacy's loved ones maintain that she would never abandon her young children, that Stacy had said that her husband was abusive and controlling and that she planned to divorce him. One of Stacy's neighbors reported seeing her husband with another man carrying a large container (that was found missing from their home) around the time Stacy went missing. Stacy's husband's stepbrother has come forward to say he helped move this container and now believes Stacy may have been inside. Stacy's husband was eventually named a suspect in her disappearance and now presumed homicide. After Stacy went missing an investigation ensued over the death of her husband's third wife (Stacy being his fourth). It was originally ruled an accident and after exhuming her body the cause of death was changed to murder. Stacy's husband was arrested for his third wife's death in 2009 and he was convicted in 2012.
Let's now pause for a second and remember that Stacy is still missing. That her family suffers daily, that her children are growing up without a mother. When a conviction occurs people tend to feel justice has been served but there can be no moving forward without locating the missing person.
There are positives that have come out of this case. Positives... Positives yet she is still missing. The positives point to the perseverance of her family and to the law and possibly the corrections of flaws within it. A law was passed in Illinois in 2008 that allows hearsay evidence if prosecutors believe that the victim was killed to prevent his or her testimony. This law allowed witnesses to recount Stacy's statements about her husband's involvement in his third wife's murder, and her concerns that this same fate may be hers. In addition to this important piece of legislation we now have the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA), or the Evidentiary Affidavit of Abuse, which I learned at this rally stop was created in response to the disappearance of Stacy Peterson.
I first heard Susan Milano Murphy speak about the EAA a few years ago, and I have to say that I didn't really understand it at the time. I got the premise but I guess I never understood the importance till now. The goal, I believe, is to eliminate hearsay by giving victims of domestic abuse a way to ensure that their words about what has happened in the past or their fears of what may happen in the future will not disappear if they do, or if something happens to them. By creating an EAA you can document your history, injuries, scars, and threats made towards you. It can also be used in place of a will to ensure what should happen to children in the event of death, disappearance and or injury.
It was only an 8 minute ride from the park so we went for dinner, since we had another long driving night ahead of us. The rally stop was inside the Aquatic Center and and was hosted by Stacy Peterson's family. Some of the families from the park came along to this vigil as well. Stacy's family was well represented including some of its newest members that Stacy never got to meet. Along with speeches from family and Monica there was a speaker on domestic violence. A poem was out which said in part...I know you are missing, but I refuse to consider you gone, you are out there somewhere and your memory lives on... I suppose at this point you are at peace, if I could only find you my pain could cease... May your spirit be strong, long enough to succeed in punishing the people that caused your life to end because of greed.
Elisa
Monday, October 27, 2014
Wipfler Park Bolingbrook IL Elisa
The rain traveled with us on the over 5 hour drive from Michigan to Illinois. We changed time zones successfully despite the drama in the van with all of us having different opinions on which clocks will change on their own and most importantly what will the Garmin do? For those interested the Garmin takes time zone changes into account when it tells you your arrival time.
Missing Rachel Mellon lived across the street from Wipfler Park when she went missing in 1996 at 13 years of age. There's a memorial plaque under a tree "Remembering Rachel..Present In Our Hearts". Some things say Rachel Mellon, some say Rachel Mellon Skemp, and I've also seen Rachel Mellon-Skemp. I found this confusing as I familiarized myself with her case. Her biological father is Skemp and her stepfather is Mellon. On the day of her disappearance Rachel was sick and stayed home from school with her stepfather. He says she was napping when he went out to walk their dog. Her siblings noticed her missing when they came home from school and say they informed their father but nothing was done until their mother came home. Her coat and shoes remained in the house despite below zero weather, but her blanket and pillows that she used for her nap were missing. At the time Rachel went missing her stepfather had scratches on him and a domestic violence record. He also failed a lie detector test. Prosecutors convened a grand jury in 2000 but came away without an indictment. Rachel's mother and stepfather have since moved away.The family I met of Rachel's said they were relatives of the stepfather, they were wonderful caring people who told of raising Rachel's sibling after the Mellon's left town. They took many pictures at the garden and ballon release for Rachel's siblings.
Bradley Olsen was 26 years old and living at home with his parents when he went out one night in 2001. The friends picked him up in subzero temperatures and they went to a nightclub together. The friends left Brad at the club and he stayed until closing time and then used his cellphone to try and obtain a ride home. Being unsuccessful he took off walking and hasn't been seen or heard from since. Both his vehicles remained at his home. Brad left behind a daughter prompting his parents to have him declared legally dead in 2010 so the daughter could receive his Social Security benefits. Brad's mother has gotten involved in the Adopt A Doe Program by seeking publicity for them every time she holds an event for her son. Today there is information on a John Doe found in 1998 and a female Spring Doe found in 2005. They are both included on our tour.
Another family present today is Missing Sheri Swims. Sheri was 23 when she went missing from Homestead Fl in 1986. I believe she is on our tour this year because her family lives here. Sheri was last seen in the early morning hours with 2 males. In 2003 investigators were told she was murdered and buried beneath a waterfall. The property was excavated in 2007 after CUE became involved but no evidence was found. I don't believe I could do that story justice, and the riveting account and all that went wrong can be found at thelifersproject.blogspot.com, written by Monica. I suggest reading it.
Other highlighted missing at this stop include Tom McGinn who was last seen at work in 1996. He was 36 years old at the time and his car was found near a lake. A search of the lake was unsuccessful. Also, Missing sisters, Tioda and Diamond Bradley who went missing in 2001. Tionda was 10 and her sister Diamond was 3 when they were left alone in the morning while their mother went to work. Tionda left a note saying they were going to walk to a nearby school and a store. Neither has been seen since.
When we pulled up to the park in the rain we can see a tent set up and all we see underneath a clothesline of missing faces are legs and feet. A lot of legs and feet. Was there going to be room for us under there? Soon enough our van is seen and room is made. Smiling faces so happy to see us, and Missouri State Outreach Coordinator David Sullivan greet us. They have postcards made out of our Road Tour logo picture on which we are to write notes on the back and attach them to the white and purple balloons that we soon release up into the cloudy sky. I learn they have hosted a rally stop previously, before I began making the trip in 2011. These are our veterans, families of people missing for a long time, the "lifers". Families whose lives have been been put on hold indefinitely, families who have spent years and decades dedicated to finding their missing loved one, families that deserve to know what happened so long ago. This Illinois group has become a family of their own as well as part of CUE's family. A new family we all hold dear even if we never wanted to belong to it. Wouldn't it be nice if someone came forward on any one or all of these cases with the information needed to bring their loved one home and allow these families to put this nightmare behind them? Someone has the answers, these families deserve them.
Elisa
Missing Rachel Mellon lived across the street from Wipfler Park when she went missing in 1996 at 13 years of age. There's a memorial plaque under a tree "Remembering Rachel..Present In Our Hearts". Some things say Rachel Mellon, some say Rachel Mellon Skemp, and I've also seen Rachel Mellon-Skemp. I found this confusing as I familiarized myself with her case. Her biological father is Skemp and her stepfather is Mellon. On the day of her disappearance Rachel was sick and stayed home from school with her stepfather. He says she was napping when he went out to walk their dog. Her siblings noticed her missing when they came home from school and say they informed their father but nothing was done until their mother came home. Her coat and shoes remained in the house despite below zero weather, but her blanket and pillows that she used for her nap were missing. At the time Rachel went missing her stepfather had scratches on him and a domestic violence record. He also failed a lie detector test. Prosecutors convened a grand jury in 2000 but came away without an indictment. Rachel's mother and stepfather have since moved away.The family I met of Rachel's said they were relatives of the stepfather, they were wonderful caring people who told of raising Rachel's sibling after the Mellon's left town. They took many pictures at the garden and ballon release for Rachel's siblings.
Bradley Olsen was 26 years old and living at home with his parents when he went out one night in 2001. The friends picked him up in subzero temperatures and they went to a nightclub together. The friends left Brad at the club and he stayed until closing time and then used his cellphone to try and obtain a ride home. Being unsuccessful he took off walking and hasn't been seen or heard from since. Both his vehicles remained at his home. Brad left behind a daughter prompting his parents to have him declared legally dead in 2010 so the daughter could receive his Social Security benefits. Brad's mother has gotten involved in the Adopt A Doe Program by seeking publicity for them every time she holds an event for her son. Today there is information on a John Doe found in 1998 and a female Spring Doe found in 2005. They are both included on our tour.
Another family present today is Missing Sheri Swims. Sheri was 23 when she went missing from Homestead Fl in 1986. I believe she is on our tour this year because her family lives here. Sheri was last seen in the early morning hours with 2 males. In 2003 investigators were told she was murdered and buried beneath a waterfall. The property was excavated in 2007 after CUE became involved but no evidence was found. I don't believe I could do that story justice, and the riveting account and all that went wrong can be found at thelifersproject.blogspot.com, written by Monica. I suggest reading it.
Other highlighted missing at this stop include Tom McGinn who was last seen at work in 1996. He was 36 years old at the time and his car was found near a lake. A search of the lake was unsuccessful. Also, Missing sisters, Tioda and Diamond Bradley who went missing in 2001. Tionda was 10 and her sister Diamond was 3 when they were left alone in the morning while their mother went to work. Tionda left a note saying they were going to walk to a nearby school and a store. Neither has been seen since.
When we pulled up to the park in the rain we can see a tent set up and all we see underneath a clothesline of missing faces are legs and feet. A lot of legs and feet. Was there going to be room for us under there? Soon enough our van is seen and room is made. Smiling faces so happy to see us, and Missouri State Outreach Coordinator David Sullivan greet us. They have postcards made out of our Road Tour logo picture on which we are to write notes on the back and attach them to the white and purple balloons that we soon release up into the cloudy sky. I learn they have hosted a rally stop previously, before I began making the trip in 2011. These are our veterans, families of people missing for a long time, the "lifers". Families whose lives have been been put on hold indefinitely, families who have spent years and decades dedicated to finding their missing loved one, families that deserve to know what happened so long ago. This Illinois group has become a family of their own as well as part of CUE's family. A new family we all hold dear even if we never wanted to belong to it. Wouldn't it be nice if someone came forward on any one or all of these cases with the information needed to bring their loved one home and allow these families to put this nightmare behind them? Someone has the answers, these families deserve them.
Elisa
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Saginaw MI Elisa
Eric Franks traveled to Saginaw in 2011 to meet a teenage daughter of his that he had not known existed. The ex girlfriend who had contacted him with this information is believed to be the last person that saw him before he vanished without a trace. The hotel where he was staying informed the police that this former girlfriend emptied out his room and it is believed that she used his phone after his disappearance. Eric was 38 years old when he disappeared and his car is also still missing.
It's pouring and windy when we pull into the rally stop. Luckily, Eric's mother and aunt have tents set up. In addition to family photos and pictures of the missing, they have one table with the tablecloth acting as a banner on which messages are and can be written to the missing. A wreath stood on a stand with cut out pumpkins and acorns below on which to write your missing loved one and hang it onto the wreath. Eric's Aunt Debra encouraged me to write Mathew down and when I informed her that he had been recovered she was even more adamant that I put up a remembrance pumpkin.
There were a few Michigan State Police Officers in attendance, some of which spoke. Multiple media outlets were there and in the small space under the tents (ok, not so small but) I kept getting in the way of the cameras. Excuse me was my middle name for the hour and a half we were there. Debra introduced everyone and as Eric's mother Jo Ann spoke Debra knew when to step in and stand beside supporting her sister.
They were both wearing yellow shirts with Eric's picture on the front and while Debra's said "Have You Seen Eric?" Jo Ann's said "Have You Seen My Son?" The back of Jo Ann's had a baby picture of Eric on it and said "Everybody Is Somebody's Baby". I really liked that and it's a nice play on CUE's tag line "Every Missing Person Is Somebody's Child".
Originally while Jo Ann was speaking her face began to become covered with blotches of red. It happened slowly and I was unsure at first, but as someone who gets red and breaks out in hives I could tell and feel her stress rising. By the time she was done giving multiple interviews her face was more red than white and all I wanted to do was put my arms around her and give her a giant mother to mother hug. She told how in the two years prior to Eric going missing, her husband, mother, and brother had died. So much to handle in such a short period of time. My husband died two years and one week before Mathew went missing, both Jo Ann and I were married to our high school sweethearts, so I think I know pretty well how she feels. At least with a death you have the ability to fully grieve, when you have a missing person all control is removed and all you are left with the unknown. As a recent widow you have additional angst. I often tried to think of what Danny would do, how he would handle this or that, and I missed him besides me while OUR son was missing, taking control so I could fall apart, and holding me at night.
The rain subsided enough to do a balloon release. There were 42 yellow balloons, one for every year of Eric's life as he would be 42 now. Before we left I got to give Jo Ann that hug. This case and this family will stay with me.
Elisa
It's pouring and windy when we pull into the rally stop. Luckily, Eric's mother and aunt have tents set up. In addition to family photos and pictures of the missing, they have one table with the tablecloth acting as a banner on which messages are and can be written to the missing. A wreath stood on a stand with cut out pumpkins and acorns below on which to write your missing loved one and hang it onto the wreath. Eric's Aunt Debra encouraged me to write Mathew down and when I informed her that he had been recovered she was even more adamant that I put up a remembrance pumpkin.
There were a few Michigan State Police Officers in attendance, some of which spoke. Multiple media outlets were there and in the small space under the tents (ok, not so small but) I kept getting in the way of the cameras. Excuse me was my middle name for the hour and a half we were there. Debra introduced everyone and as Eric's mother Jo Ann spoke Debra knew when to step in and stand beside supporting her sister.
They were both wearing yellow shirts with Eric's picture on the front and while Debra's said "Have You Seen Eric?" Jo Ann's said "Have You Seen My Son?" The back of Jo Ann's had a baby picture of Eric on it and said "Everybody Is Somebody's Baby". I really liked that and it's a nice play on CUE's tag line "Every Missing Person Is Somebody's Child".
Originally while Jo Ann was speaking her face began to become covered with blotches of red. It happened slowly and I was unsure at first, but as someone who gets red and breaks out in hives I could tell and feel her stress rising. By the time she was done giving multiple interviews her face was more red than white and all I wanted to do was put my arms around her and give her a giant mother to mother hug. She told how in the two years prior to Eric going missing, her husband, mother, and brother had died. So much to handle in such a short period of time. My husband died two years and one week before Mathew went missing, both Jo Ann and I were married to our high school sweethearts, so I think I know pretty well how she feels. At least with a death you have the ability to fully grieve, when you have a missing person all control is removed and all you are left with the unknown. As a recent widow you have additional angst. I often tried to think of what Danny would do, how he would handle this or that, and I missed him besides me while OUR son was missing, taking control so I could fall apart, and holding me at night.
The rain subsided enough to do a balloon release. There were 42 yellow balloons, one for every year of Eric's life as he would be 42 now. Before we left I got to give Jo Ann that hug. This case and this family will stay with me.
Elisa
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Spartanberg SC Janeane
Evelyn Shelton,
We pulled into the police department and it was full of officials and media. The Mayor and Tim Shelton havr a very strong speach I could feel his pain and the love he had for his sister.Not all people that go missing are children. A lot of missing are adults men and woman,
Domestic Violence plays a big part in woman and we do have ways to get the word out they are not alone and there is help out there.
We pulled into the police department and it was full of officials and media. The Mayor and Tim Shelton havr a very strong speach I could feel his pain and the love he had for his sister.Not all people that go missing are children. A lot of missing are adults men and woman,
Domestic Violence plays a big part in woman and we do have ways to get the word out they are not alone and there is help out there.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Kokomo IN Janeane
Kelly Armstrong, Easter Westenbarar
We can't miss this rally stop colored signs line the side of the road with a missing person on them. By now it takes no time for Elisa and I to set the CUE table and David and Harlen to hang the banner while Monica is with the families and media. We have a chance to look around. What beautiful displays of loved ones have been put together. As Elisa and I are looking we spot a map with colorful pins in it so we ask a family member what it meant and do the colors have a meaning she said no they are missing persons in the state of Indiana. The speeches started first by Julie who's daughter was missing and recovered then the Armstrongs and Westenbarar family's Monica spoke to the familys with words of encouragement and hope of getting answers, A prayer was said and balloons were let loose. For some reason this is the rally that made me cry
We can't miss this rally stop colored signs line the side of the road with a missing person on them. By now it takes no time for Elisa and I to set the CUE table and David and Harlen to hang the banner while Monica is with the families and media. We have a chance to look around. What beautiful displays of loved ones have been put together. As Elisa and I are looking we spot a map with colorful pins in it so we ask a family member what it meant and do the colors have a meaning she said no they are missing persons in the state of Indiana. The speeches started first by Julie who's daughter was missing and recovered then the Armstrongs and Westenbarar family's Monica spoke to the familys with words of encouragement and hope of getting answers, A prayer was said and balloons were let loose. For some reason this is the rally that made me cry
Lincoln Park MI Elisa
Phyllis Flynn went missing in 1988 at the age of 23. Her father had dropped her off at the hotel where her boyfriend lived at the time. A few days later she called him to come pick her up. When he arrived he was told she wasn't there. Phyllis was never seen or heard from again. Her case was closed at some point and the original police report went missing. The detective assigned to her case retired. Both her parents have died without ever knowing what happened to their daughter. Her brother and sister have both moved away.
Last year the Michigan State Police reopened her case and took DNA samples from her siblings. An old family friend got involved and has become an advocate for her. She was registered as a CUE case and was put onto this years tour.
Phyllis' rally stop was held at the Ikaros Hall. We were greeted there by missing persons advocates and the detective involved in her case. It was more of a round table brainstorming session than a missing persons vigil. The low key aspect was relaxing for us on the tour although I do wish it had been more about Phyllis and less about unidentified persons and NAMUS. I know things can move slowly but the retired detective has not even been contacted yet and with the original file misplaced I would think that would be the first step needed to jump start the investigation.
Something happened to Phyllis Flynn in 1988. There is a reason she never returned home. Someone somewhere knows something. I hope things will move more quickly this time around. I hope answers will be found before another 26 years pass.
Elisa
Last year the Michigan State Police reopened her case and took DNA samples from her siblings. An old family friend got involved and has become an advocate for her. She was registered as a CUE case and was put onto this years tour.
Phyllis' rally stop was held at the Ikaros Hall. We were greeted there by missing persons advocates and the detective involved in her case. It was more of a round table brainstorming session than a missing persons vigil. The low key aspect was relaxing for us on the tour although I do wish it had been more about Phyllis and less about unidentified persons and NAMUS. I know things can move slowly but the retired detective has not even been contacted yet and with the original file misplaced I would think that would be the first step needed to jump start the investigation.
Something happened to Phyllis Flynn in 1988. There is a reason she never returned home. Someone somewhere knows something. I hope things will move more quickly this time around. I hope answers will be found before another 26 years pass.
Elisa
Shanago Township PA Elisa
Our second stop today, and our third and last stop in Pennsylvania is for missing Jessi Short. Jessi was last seen at her mom's house in January of 2013. She was 25 years old at the time with a 1 year old son. Her case is the perfect example of why we do this tour every year. She has received no press, her family left to wonder if anyone at all cares she is missing.
Her mother, son, fiancé, friends and family are waiting for us when we arrive with pictures and poems set out facing the street. As nice as the inside venues, the park and other locations for rallies are nice, facing the street is a good way to increase awareness for the missing.
This is one of Janeane's cases so she's doing double duty at this stop. Mostly she is wearing her State Outreach Coordinator for Pennsylvania hat, taking care of Jessi's mom and talking with Law Enforcement. I get the sense that she is working to mend the relationship between the two. This family needs help both in getting their message out and in advocating for their missing relative. I've watched and listen to Janeane as she coaxes and encourages them.
Some cases are particularly frustrating and Jessi's is one of them. I cannot speak to what the police have or have not done. All I know is what I witnessed firsthand. The Police Superintendent saying they have nothing and are at a standstill. The fiancé who has custody of his and Jessi's 3 year old son and has had custody since before Jessi went missing, telling us he has never been interviewed and that when he introduced himself to Law Enforcement present they said they didn't know about him. Excuse me? The fiancé went so far as to say, rightly so, shouldn't I be a suspect? How can the case of a young mother who will be missing 2 years in a few months go so wrong? Does anyone besides this small group of people and us care about what has happened to her? Where's the community? Where's the outrage? How can anyone find out what has happened to Jessi if this is the type of investigating that is being done? It makes me so angry that people make judgements and do not take all missing cases seriously. Something happened to Jessi Short. There is a little boy growing up without his mother. She deserves better than this.
Elisa
Her mother, son, fiancé, friends and family are waiting for us when we arrive with pictures and poems set out facing the street. As nice as the inside venues, the park and other locations for rallies are nice, facing the street is a good way to increase awareness for the missing.
This is one of Janeane's cases so she's doing double duty at this stop. Mostly she is wearing her State Outreach Coordinator for Pennsylvania hat, taking care of Jessi's mom and talking with Law Enforcement. I get the sense that she is working to mend the relationship between the two. This family needs help both in getting their message out and in advocating for their missing relative. I've watched and listen to Janeane as she coaxes and encourages them.
Some cases are particularly frustrating and Jessi's is one of them. I cannot speak to what the police have or have not done. All I know is what I witnessed firsthand. The Police Superintendent saying they have nothing and are at a standstill. The fiancé who has custody of his and Jessi's 3 year old son and has had custody since before Jessi went missing, telling us he has never been interviewed and that when he introduced himself to Law Enforcement present they said they didn't know about him. Excuse me? The fiancé went so far as to say, rightly so, shouldn't I be a suspect? How can the case of a young mother who will be missing 2 years in a few months go so wrong? Does anyone besides this small group of people and us care about what has happened to her? Where's the community? Where's the outrage? How can anyone find out what has happened to Jessi if this is the type of investigating that is being done? It makes me so angry that people make judgements and do not take all missing cases seriously. Something happened to Jessi Short. There is a little boy growing up without his mother. She deserves better than this.
Elisa
Warren PA Elisa
We were on the road early this morning but it's all good because we got a decent night's sleep. Today we are starting off at the City of Warren Police Department. They are hosting the stop in conjunction with the family of Damien Sharp, Janeane Shanahan's missing son. After Janeane hands press packages to Monica she takes off her Road To Remember Tour volunteer hat and segues into her missing momma role.
The press conference included speeches by the Damien's detective, the chief of police, the DA and a representative from Crimestoppers. Then Janeane was able to tell about Damien, all she has been through since he disappeared, her relationships with the others standing besides her, how she discovered CUE, and how she has progressed in the missing persons world. Victim to Advocate. Janeane is no longer a powerless victim without any control. Over the years she has become a voice for the missing and she is now a State Outreach Coordinator for CUE representing both New York State where she lives and Pennsylvania where Damien went missing.
Damien Sharp was 22 years old when he went missing over Memorial Day weekend in 2002. He was last seen leaving his residence saying he would return shortly. He has not been seen or heard from since. The investigation into his disappearance has been reclassified as a homicide.
It was nice to see Janeane's sisters, meet her mother and some of her friends. Helen Zimmel, another State Outreach Coordinator was also there with her family and we all got to meet her baby daughter Parker.
I know today has been extremely difficult for Janeane. This isn't her first time hosting a Road To Remember Tour stop but that doesn't make it any easier. She is like any other mother or family member that hosts a rally. She is both nervous and excited, realistic and hopeful. Damien has been gone 12 years now. She has missed out on so much that so many take for granted. No one deserves to be missing, no family deserves to experience the anguish of not knowing where their loved one is or what happened to them, no mother should have to learn how to go on living in limbo, on the roller coaster ride of the missing persons world. As much as I love Janeane and am thankful for our friendship, I would give it all up in a heartbeat for either one of us not to have had to go through the agony of having a missing son. I hope with all my heart that she never has to hold another stop. I hope with all my heart that she gets the answers she deserves. I hope with all my heart.....
Elisa
The press conference included speeches by the Damien's detective, the chief of police, the DA and a representative from Crimestoppers. Then Janeane was able to tell about Damien, all she has been through since he disappeared, her relationships with the others standing besides her, how she discovered CUE, and how she has progressed in the missing persons world. Victim to Advocate. Janeane is no longer a powerless victim without any control. Over the years she has become a voice for the missing and she is now a State Outreach Coordinator for CUE representing both New York State where she lives and Pennsylvania where Damien went missing.
Damien Sharp was 22 years old when he went missing over Memorial Day weekend in 2002. He was last seen leaving his residence saying he would return shortly. He has not been seen or heard from since. The investigation into his disappearance has been reclassified as a homicide.
It was nice to see Janeane's sisters, meet her mother and some of her friends. Helen Zimmel, another State Outreach Coordinator was also there with her family and we all got to meet her baby daughter Parker.
I know today has been extremely difficult for Janeane. This isn't her first time hosting a Road To Remember Tour stop but that doesn't make it any easier. She is like any other mother or family member that hosts a rally. She is both nervous and excited, realistic and hopeful. Damien has been gone 12 years now. She has missed out on so much that so many take for granted. No one deserves to be missing, no family deserves to experience the anguish of not knowing where their loved one is or what happened to them, no mother should have to learn how to go on living in limbo, on the roller coaster ride of the missing persons world. As much as I love Janeane and am thankful for our friendship, I would give it all up in a heartbeat for either one of us not to have had to go through the agony of having a missing son. I hope with all my heart that she never has to hold another stop. I hope with all my heart that she gets the answers she deserves. I hope with all my heart.....
Elisa
Wescosville PA Elisa
We had some difficulties finding this stop at first. Arguing over whether we are going to Allentown or Wescosville, until we figured out Wescosville is a part of Allentown (thanks to a Dunkin Donuts employee), and the address is Allentown. The nighttime vigil was held in a hall. When we were looking for it I saw a bunch of people standing outside a house and yelled that's it, but I was overruled because we were going to a hall. Turned out I was right and that was the hall, it just looked like a house from the outside. Meeting people in the dark by the truck confused me, especially because everyone was in purple, but once we got inside I could see better and tell who was who.
Holly Grim was 41 years old on the morning of November 22, 2013, when, just like any other day, she took her son to the bus stop at 6:30am. She returned to her trailer home where she would normally have a cup of coffee and a cigarette while sitting on her couch watching the morning news, and then get ready and leave for work. Her mother who lived in the same park came over at 7am. Holly's car was still out front even though she should have already left for work. Holly was not there, however, and her full cup of coffee was still in the living room but had obviously been disturbed. Holly has not been seen since.
The hall was packed with people. A sea of purple, Holly's favorite color. They were very welcoming, very happy to see us. They had just recently become a CUE case and were very excited to see how we could help them find Holly. They had a woman on stage singing and playing a guitar, and a purple table set up with posters, candles and flowers. The evening's host, Heidi, came around meeting us all, asking our names and if and who we had someone missing. I have to say this was the first time in my 4 years on the road tour that someone at a stop introduced us all by name along with our circumstance. Not that I've ever been bothered by the usual Monica and her team of volunteers, that's who we are, but Heidi was definitely going the extra mile. She did her homework.
Heidi begins by telling us all about Holly. She introduces Holly's mother who they've dubbed Mama Grim, her son and brother. She tells us that the large group of friends have been named "The Purpe Shirts" by the media. You can tell they've been working hard to find Holly and have held lots of events in the past 11 months since she went missing. In introducing Monica, you once again saw the research Heidi had done. She told about CUE's beginning, the Peggy Carr story, and about the road tour including all the specifics (4011 miles, 8 days, 22 stops and 11 states). You would wonder what was left for Monica to talk about but I already know Monica can instantly gauge the crowd and what's best to say. Afterwards, as we talked with everyone we heard lots of opinions and theories about what happened to Holly. This is an entire town that is dedicated to finding one of their own.
After the fiasco the previous night we were exhausted and we have a 5 hour drive to our morning stop. Normally we would set out to get some mileage donee ne'er our belts before stopping for the night but The Purple Shirts had gotten us rooms in town. Although this means leaving hours before daylight the following day, we are appreciative for having a decent place to stay and for their thoughtfulness.
Elisa
Holly Grim was 41 years old on the morning of November 22, 2013, when, just like any other day, she took her son to the bus stop at 6:30am. She returned to her trailer home where she would normally have a cup of coffee and a cigarette while sitting on her couch watching the morning news, and then get ready and leave for work. Her mother who lived in the same park came over at 7am. Holly's car was still out front even though she should have already left for work. Holly was not there, however, and her full cup of coffee was still in the living room but had obviously been disturbed. Holly has not been seen since.
The hall was packed with people. A sea of purple, Holly's favorite color. They were very welcoming, very happy to see us. They had just recently become a CUE case and were very excited to see how we could help them find Holly. They had a woman on stage singing and playing a guitar, and a purple table set up with posters, candles and flowers. The evening's host, Heidi, came around meeting us all, asking our names and if and who we had someone missing. I have to say this was the first time in my 4 years on the road tour that someone at a stop introduced us all by name along with our circumstance. Not that I've ever been bothered by the usual Monica and her team of volunteers, that's who we are, but Heidi was definitely going the extra mile. She did her homework.
Heidi begins by telling us all about Holly. She introduces Holly's mother who they've dubbed Mama Grim, her son and brother. She tells us that the large group of friends have been named "The Purpe Shirts" by the media. You can tell they've been working hard to find Holly and have held lots of events in the past 11 months since she went missing. In introducing Monica, you once again saw the research Heidi had done. She told about CUE's beginning, the Peggy Carr story, and about the road tour including all the specifics (4011 miles, 8 days, 22 stops and 11 states). You would wonder what was left for Monica to talk about but I already know Monica can instantly gauge the crowd and what's best to say. Afterwards, as we talked with everyone we heard lots of opinions and theories about what happened to Holly. This is an entire town that is dedicated to finding one of their own.
After the fiasco the previous night we were exhausted and we have a 5 hour drive to our morning stop. Normally we would set out to get some mileage donee ne'er our belts before stopping for the night but The Purple Shirts had gotten us rooms in town. Although this means leaving hours before daylight the following day, we are appreciative for having a decent place to stay and for their thoughtfulness.
Elisa
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Rally Stop, Raleigh, NC
Rally Stop - Raleigh, NC
We set out to begin this years journey with a hopeful heart and our minds set in stone for the mission ahead. Our first stop is in honor of Leah Roberts as I think about her I think about the many years ago we began the tour as it was for her and all about her, Leah. She is the inspiration of why this tour exist today.
You see Leah was the youngest of three children and she lost her parents prior to becoming a missing person, I know her entire story by heart, every moment, friends she had, her family, law enforcement who have been on her case and the new ones who have entered in an attempt to solve this mystery.
Leah is a deep person, loves to read and was committed to those she followed in the world of fiction and poetry. Leah loved her family and friends, she was a free spirit, late night discussions on issues or a topic, she majored in college the Spanish language, loved her guitar and photography; I could go on and on but the most important thing I could and do share about Leah Roberts is that she is missing, vanished without a trace, no one has heard from her, seen her, she is one of over 800,000 people who are currently missing!
I take comfort in my search for Leah and in the fact that this tour has helped hundreds of families from across the nation and has played in a direct role of finding the lost. Many times I think about Leah and wonder if she is still out there lost and pray for her and her loved ones often. I pray for all the missing in silent times, early mornings before the craziness starts my day and before another call comes in to our center and another hopeless voice on the other end of the line.
The rally stop was nice, very informative and good support. I leave this stop feeling encouraged and with a renewed vision for the tour, one day the right person will hear the story I share, that of Leah Roberts.
LYMI -Monica Caison
Clinton IA Janeane
Benjamin Roseland
The rally stop was in a church this time .when we came in the church was pretty full of friends and family.Benjamin had a large family it was great to see so many to come out for Benjamin. His aunt started out the night by talking a bit about Benjamin then introducing his sister's both had a hard time talking. Meanwhile a friend of the family had been playing a guitar and singing.We were given candles and every one was lighting candles from each other. The priest came up told some story's read from the bible and a prayer, Benjamin's aunt asked if anyone had any questions that you might want to ask or would like to say anything about their missing loved ones then introduces Benjamin's nephew and again asked does any one have questions . The nephew asked where did he go? The church went quite. Then you heard We don't know. Time tomsign the banner, this is the biggest crowd to sign the banner. Once again it time to go its so hard to say good bye.
The rally stop was in a church this time .when we came in the church was pretty full of friends and family.Benjamin had a large family it was great to see so many to come out for Benjamin. His aunt started out the night by talking a bit about Benjamin then introducing his sister's both had a hard time talking. Meanwhile a friend of the family had been playing a guitar and singing.We were given candles and every one was lighting candles from each other. The priest came up told some story's read from the bible and a prayer, Benjamin's aunt asked if anyone had any questions that you might want to ask or would like to say anything about their missing loved ones then introduces Benjamin's nephew and again asked does any one have questions . The nephew asked where did he go? The church went quite. Then you heard We don't know. Time tomsign the banner, this is the biggest crowd to sign the banner. Once again it time to go its so hard to say good bye.
Blairstown NJ Elisa
The second stop today is being held at Cedar Ridge Cemetery in Blairstown NJ. It is being hosted by our 2 New Jersey State Outreach Coordinators, Lisa Valentino and Christine Washington in honor of Princess Doe, who is one of 3 unidentified missing that we are highlighting on this year's tour. Princess Doe was found deceased in this cemetery on July 15, 1982. She had been beaten to death leaving her face unidentifiable. In 1983 the town decided to lay her to rest in that same cemetery not far from where she was first found. Princess Doe is thought to be a white female between the ages of 14 and 18 years old. She was found wearing a red short sleeved shirt and a peasant style skirt. She is tbelieved to have been killed 2-3 days prior to her discovery.
Princess Doe received a lot of media coverage when she was found including an HBO special chronicling her case. In 1983, her case was used as the driving force behind recording unidentified crime victims into NCIC (National Crime Information Center) database at the national level and she was the first case entered. Yet 32 years later she remains unidentified.
We gathered at Princess Doe's graveside. Lisa and Christine had set it up with lots of posters of the missing from NJ, their CUE table, and posters of their recovered loved ones. Both of our NJ State Coordinators have experienced having a loved one missing. Lisa's sister, Allison Jackson Foy, went missing in 2006 and was recovered in 2008. She is included in this year's tour as one of the 5 unsolved homicides we are featuring. Christine's mother, Patricia Viola, disappeared in 2001 and was not identified until 2012. Lisa's family was there by her side. Her children were involved in planning and decorations of this vigil, her daughter actually writing a speech about the missing. It really hits home how families are affected. I wonder if they remember a time when the missing community was not a part of their family. Christine's children were born into our missing family.
I know they were both concerned about the turnout for an unidentified case from over 30 years ago and I'm sure they were both relieved and happy with the number of people who attended. The author of a novel on the story came and spoke. Christie Napurano was born in this town just weeks before Princess Doe's recovery. Other members of the community were also present. I spoke with a few and they remembered and reminisced about the case with me. This town may not know who this teenage girl is but they have adopted and love her as one of their own.
The vigil ended with all present being encouraged to lay a yellow flower on Princess Doe's grave. The flowers were each labeled with the name of a missing. I also saw one that said All Missing In USA. Janeane was given Damien's flower and I was given one In Memory for Mathew. Both Janeane and I were thrown by this although we quickly regrouped and were thankful to have such supportive friends.
Elisa
Princess Doe received a lot of media coverage when she was found including an HBO special chronicling her case. In 1983, her case was used as the driving force behind recording unidentified crime victims into NCIC (National Crime Information Center) database at the national level and she was the first case entered. Yet 32 years later she remains unidentified.
We gathered at Princess Doe's graveside. Lisa and Christine had set it up with lots of posters of the missing from NJ, their CUE table, and posters of their recovered loved ones. Both of our NJ State Coordinators have experienced having a loved one missing. Lisa's sister, Allison Jackson Foy, went missing in 2006 and was recovered in 2008. She is included in this year's tour as one of the 5 unsolved homicides we are featuring. Christine's mother, Patricia Viola, disappeared in 2001 and was not identified until 2012. Lisa's family was there by her side. Her children were involved in planning and decorations of this vigil, her daughter actually writing a speech about the missing. It really hits home how families are affected. I wonder if they remember a time when the missing community was not a part of their family. Christine's children were born into our missing family.
I know they were both concerned about the turnout for an unidentified case from over 30 years ago and I'm sure they were both relieved and happy with the number of people who attended. The author of a novel on the story came and spoke. Christie Napurano was born in this town just weeks before Princess Doe's recovery. Other members of the community were also present. I spoke with a few and they remembered and reminisced about the case with me. This town may not know who this teenage girl is but they have adopted and love her as one of their own.
The vigil ended with all present being encouraged to lay a yellow flower on Princess Doe's grave. The flowers were each labeled with the name of a missing. I also saw one that said All Missing In USA. Janeane was given Damien's flower and I was given one In Memory for Mathew. Both Janeane and I were thrown by this although we quickly regrouped and were thankful to have such supportive friends.
Elisa
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Wabasha MN Janeane
Donna Ingersoll
When we walked into the room we were met by all kinds of officers and the mayor. Tricia did a wonderful job adding special added touches. Family and friends and many volunteers along with officers are sitting at the tables set up and the speeches start the Mayor first with a lump in his throat and tears in his eyes he got through it.The chief and sheriff spoke both of Donnas sisters spoke but it was very hard for then to get through it then Monica got to speak. I had some time to spend with Donnas sisters let them know they are not alone. We had some time for pictures hugs and long good byes before we have our long drive to Clinton IA
When we walked into the room we were met by all kinds of officers and the mayor. Tricia did a wonderful job adding special added touches. Family and friends and many volunteers along with officers are sitting at the tables set up and the speeches start the Mayor first with a lump in his throat and tears in his eyes he got through it.The chief and sheriff spoke both of Donnas sisters spoke but it was very hard for then to get through it then Monica got to speak. I had some time to spend with Donnas sisters let them know they are not alone. We had some time for pictures hugs and long good byes before we have our long drive to Clinton IA
Bolingbrook IL Second Stop Janeane
Stacy Peterson
Stacy is a high profile case movies have been made families have been hounded by the media very sad they are such nice people.Stacys sister spoke you could hear the anger and sadness in Cassandra's voice. Norma and Bill Peterson also there to support Stacy. Norma gave a great speech from the heart you can tell she has done her home work on domestic violence the passion in her speech. Afterthe rally Bill Peterson brought the booklets out that we needed for our press packets. You can see both sides of Stacys family needs answers to heal. It was great to have Dave Sullivan with us.
Stacy is a high profile case movies have been made families have been hounded by the media very sad they are such nice people.Stacys sister spoke you could hear the anger and sadness in Cassandra's voice. Norma and Bill Peterson also there to support Stacy. Norma gave a great speech from the heart you can tell she has done her home work on domestic violence the passion in her speech. Afterthe rally Bill Peterson brought the booklets out that we needed for our press packets. You can see both sides of Stacys family needs answers to heal. It was great to have Dave Sullivan with us.
Bolingbrook IL First Stop Janeane
Tionda & Diamond Bradley, Brad Olsen,Rachel Mellon, Tom McGinn and Spring Doe.
Rain rain go away besides the rain we had a good turn out. Friends and family came out. We had a small tent but it was very cozy and you could really talk to everyone. The rain slowed down enough so we could write a message and tie a message to purple balloons and let them go.It was great to see Dave one of our coordinators. Time runs fast and we have to go to our next stop
Rain rain go away besides the rain we had a good turn out. Friends and family came out. We had a small tent but it was very cozy and you could really talk to everyone. The rain slowed down enough so we could write a message and tie a message to purple balloons and let them go.It was great to see Dave one of our coordinators. Time runs fast and we have to go to our next stop
Saginaw MI Janeane
Eric Franks
What a great set up in the Walmart parking lot, lots of tents every where Jo Ann hade a tent for CUE because of the rain. A wonderful display of Eric and many more missing persons display. All of a sudden the rain slowed down and let up so we released dozens of yellow balloons with white ribbon. The media was talking to all of the CUE team also asking why we take this road tour one to help the families and bring awareness to other families in hope to find a missing person and maybe stop someone else from becoming a missing person them self.Once a gain its hard to say good bye because we feel so much for our families.
What a great set up in the Walmart parking lot, lots of tents every where Jo Ann hade a tent for CUE because of the rain. A wonderful display of Eric and many more missing persons display. All of a sudden the rain slowed down and let up so we released dozens of yellow balloons with white ribbon. The media was talking to all of the CUE team also asking why we take this road tour one to help the families and bring awareness to other families in hope to find a missing person and maybe stop someone else from becoming a missing person them self.Once a gain its hard to say good bye because we feel so much for our families.
Lincoln Park MI Janeane
Phyllis Flynn
We met with Phillis friends no family could attend. One brother and one sister still alive but lives out of town and Phillis parents have pasted away. Phillis went missing in 1988 but friends are still wondering where she went and what happened that night. The investigator on Phillis' case has retired no files have been found at this time.Speaking with the officer there she is trying to help putting files together. Monica also gave them names to contact for the help they need.
We met with Phillis friends no family could attend. One brother and one sister still alive but lives out of town and Phillis parents have pasted away. Phillis went missing in 1988 but friends are still wondering where she went and what happened that night. The investigator on Phillis' case has retired no files have been found at this time.Speaking with the officer there she is trying to help putting files together. Monica also gave them names to contact for the help they need.
Meriden CT Elisa
This morning we are in Connecticut. How we made it here from Virginia and where we ended up, not sleeping the night but being able to lay down for a few hours is quite a story for another time. We are exhausted and it's only day 3. Luckily for us this stop is being hosted by Conneticut State Coordinator Donna Gore and not only is it set up well but even more importantly for us this morning, there is food and COFFEE. Way to go Donna! It's being held at the Conneticut State Museum. The podium is set at the top of a grand front staircase and the tables in the side parking lot. Multiple quilts made out of missing persons T-shirts hung on the back brick wall. I believe they came from Missing William Smolinski Jr's parents, only because I remember discussing it with them back when Mathew was missing. There was the CUE table (love coordinator hosts), with posters hung behind and a tree decorated with butterflies and ribbons.
I believe there were at least 5 missing persons's families represented. Besides the Smolinski's were the families of Evelyn Frisco, Jose Ortiz, Jerry Dolphin and Lisa Calvo. Evelyn Frisco went missing in 2004 when she was 42 years old. Her mom has spent the last 10 years not knowing what happened to her daughter. Jose Ortiz was 19 years old in 2005 when a firefighter witnessed his abduction, saw him being pulled off of a bicycle and into a car. He hasn't been seen since. Jerry Dolphin disappeared in 1994 at the age of 20. His family had to move out of town to escape the memories of the neighborhood. His aunt shared his story and her memories with us. Lisa Calvo disappeared in 2005, she was 40 years old when she was last seen. Billy Smolinski has been missing 10 years. He was 31 years old in 2004 when he disappeared. Other missing represented included Mary Baderacco who disappeared in 1984 at the age of 38, and Bernadine Paul who went missing at the age of 37 in 2000.
After everyone spoke the families gathered together and released yellow balloons. This was a different take on the usual balloon release and it seemed more intimate. Afterward, there was time to mingle and tour the museum. Law enforcement present included members of the Conneticut State Police and the Cold Case Unit. There was a gentleman I saw wandering, he asked me about the posters. I thought he was looking for something or someone and I brought him to Monica. As I walked away I could hear that his son was missing. He was here with his wife. I think he expected to see his son's poster but we were unaware of his case. I hope that they can now get the help that they need. As we pack up to head to another state and another rally I'm no longer so tired. This is why we do this.
Elisa
I believe there were at least 5 missing persons's families represented. Besides the Smolinski's were the families of Evelyn Frisco, Jose Ortiz, Jerry Dolphin and Lisa Calvo. Evelyn Frisco went missing in 2004 when she was 42 years old. Her mom has spent the last 10 years not knowing what happened to her daughter. Jose Ortiz was 19 years old in 2005 when a firefighter witnessed his abduction, saw him being pulled off of a bicycle and into a car. He hasn't been seen since. Jerry Dolphin disappeared in 1994 at the age of 20. His family had to move out of town to escape the memories of the neighborhood. His aunt shared his story and her memories with us. Lisa Calvo disappeared in 2005, she was 40 years old when she was last seen. Billy Smolinski has been missing 10 years. He was 31 years old in 2004 when he disappeared. Other missing represented included Mary Baderacco who disappeared in 1984 at the age of 38, and Bernadine Paul who went missing at the age of 37 in 2000.
After everyone spoke the families gathered together and released yellow balloons. This was a different take on the usual balloon release and it seemed more intimate. Afterward, there was time to mingle and tour the museum. Law enforcement present included members of the Conneticut State Police and the Cold Case Unit. There was a gentleman I saw wandering, he asked me about the posters. I thought he was looking for something or someone and I brought him to Monica. As I walked away I could hear that his son was missing. He was here with his wife. I think he expected to see his son's poster but we were unaware of his case. I hope that they can now get the help that they need. As we pack up to head to another state and another rally I'm no longer so tired. This is why we do this.
Elisa
Shanago New Castle PA Janeane
Jessi Short
what a beautiful girl to go missing and a heart break for the family. As we are setting up I am watching this little boy running around I found out he was Jessi's son. Linda, Jessi's mother, is so shaken not knowing where her daughter is. Is she alive or will there be a knock on the door some day saying we found the remains of your daughter, no one should have to go through it. Chief Phillips, Linda and myself had a long talk. I am the case worker for Jessi and Linda.
what a beautiful girl to go missing and a heart break for the family. As we are setting up I am watching this little boy running around I found out he was Jessi's son. Linda, Jessi's mother, is so shaken not knowing where her daughter is. Is she alive or will there be a knock on the door some day saying we found the remains of your daughter, no one should have to go through it. Chief Phillips, Linda and myself had a long talk. I am the case worker for Jessi and Linda.
Warren PA Janeane
Damien Mark Sharp
This is a hard one for me to write because Damien is my son. Being on the road tour and having a rally stop I kind of freaked out for a minute I called in the big gun's first a venue The Warren Police Department thanks to Investigator Chementi my sisters and my friends. The DA Green and the chief of police. Family and friends Crimestoppers plus of course the CUE. Hellen Zimmal our PA state coordinator media came out and we made the whole front page of the Warren paper thanks to Brian Ferry who always covers the news on Damien and Ron Smith from media one radio. I never writea speech down I speak ftom the heart. I am not a victim I am an advocate and a mother I was able to evenn get the police to buy our laptop tickets lol
This is a hard one for me to write because Damien is my son. Being on the road tour and having a rally stop I kind of freaked out for a minute I called in the big gun's first a venue The Warren Police Department thanks to Investigator Chementi my sisters and my friends. The DA Green and the chief of police. Family and friends Crimestoppers plus of course the CUE. Hellen Zimmal our PA state coordinator media came out and we made the whole front page of the Warren paper thanks to Brian Ferry who always covers the news on Damien and Ron Smith from media one radio. I never writea speech down I speak ftom the heart. I am not a victim I am an advocate and a mother I was able to evenn get the police to buy our laptop tickets lol
Wescosville PA Janrane
Holly Grim
we walk into the grange hall full of family and friends all in purple. Shirts they call themselves the purple shirts.A young lady is playing a guitar singing a nice lovely voice. Teresa has every thing organized with dates and meeting set. We were all welcomed. It was time for speakers and Monica to speak and tell about the CUE and what we do also words of encouragement that Holly will be found. We had every one sign the banner. We all talked for a while since it was our last stop. Teresa made arrangements for a motel room that was great thanks for that.
we walk into the grange hall full of family and friends all in purple. Shirts they call themselves the purple shirts.A young lady is playing a guitar singing a nice lovely voice. Teresa has every thing organized with dates and meeting set. We were all welcomed. It was time for speakers and Monica to speak and tell about the CUE and what we do also words of encouragement that Holly will be found. We had every one sign the banner. We all talked for a while since it was our last stop. Teresa made arrangements for a motel room that was great thanks for that.
Fredericksburg VA Elisa
The last stop of the day and the last stop in Virginia is being hosted by Virginia State Coordinator Madonna Layne and some of the missing families. We've had stops with Madonna before and I know some of these families but not all. This stop was organized around 5 missing persons from both Virginia and West Virginia. Madonna did a spectacular job organizing, she had a radio station playing music, and face painting. Tents were set up with large banners and tables, poster boards highlighting some of the missing from both Virginia and West Virginia, and a CUE area. Missing Melanie Metheny's parents had a tent set up and were cooking and giving out hot dogs and popcorn that was being popped there.
Today Madonna is wearing two hats, her CUE coordinator hat and her daughter of a missing person hat. I know that must be very difficult and she seemed to do it with ease. Talking about her mom and taking good care of her families all at the same time. Shawn White, another Virginia State Coordinator was also on hand to help.
First the cases I'm familiar with, Annita Price, Melanie Methany and Bethany Decker. Madonna's mom, Annita has been missing for 40 years, since Madonna was a little girl. Annita went missing in 1974 in West Virginia. She was 26 years old at the time. Madonna and her brother were left without a mother to raise and nurture them. I'm not sure how many years I've known Madonna, I admire how well she can communicate her mother's story, her strength and tenacity, her advocacy, and for me her quiet calming presence. Melanie Methany also went missing in West Virginia. In 2006, the 21 year old mother of 3 was last seen dropping her children off at daycare. She was reported missing when she failed to pick them up that evening. 4 days later her abandoned vehicle was found wiped clean of fingerprints. It had been at that location since at least 2:00 on the day of her disappearance. Her parents also have a nonprofit in her name Melanie's Hope (Help Our Pets Endure). Bethany Decker disappeared in Virginia in 2011. The 21 year old mother was 5 months pregnant and was last seen at her apartment. Her car remained parked at the complex. I first met her family last year I believe. Her grandmother, the sweetest woman, told me that when she retires and has time, she's going to volunteer with CUE. I'm hoping after our conversation she does it now and I think she will.
Madonna spoke for the family of Jerry Plaster since he had no relatives at the event. Jerry was 27 in 1988 when he went missing in Virginia. The father of Dwayne "Kiddie" Chick spoke, actually he also spoke in Charlottesville. Dwayne disappeared in Virginia in 2005 at the age of 33. I was drawn to him at both locations and there is one image of him that I took with him holding his son's missing person poster that I find particularly haunting. Although this was the first time I met the family of Missing Samantha Clarke I was already aware of her case from CUE, Samantha went missing at 19 years of age in 2010 in Virginia. She woke her brother before she left her home to tell him she would be back but she never returned. This was the first time her mother got to meet Monica and she was raw with emotion. Monica brought Janeane and I over to speak with her, encourage her to become proactive instead of reactive. She told me that she's been this way since the first day and it's been 4 years. Adding to her predicament is the recent increase in media attention this past year because Samantha's case is linked to the disappearance of Alexis Murphy. There are phone calls on the night she went missing from the perpetrator convicted in Alexis' case. We need to do a better job of putting away evil on the first case so other families don't have to suffer the same plight.
Elisa
Today Madonna is wearing two hats, her CUE coordinator hat and her daughter of a missing person hat. I know that must be very difficult and she seemed to do it with ease. Talking about her mom and taking good care of her families all at the same time. Shawn White, another Virginia State Coordinator was also on hand to help.
First the cases I'm familiar with, Annita Price, Melanie Methany and Bethany Decker. Madonna's mom, Annita has been missing for 40 years, since Madonna was a little girl. Annita went missing in 1974 in West Virginia. She was 26 years old at the time. Madonna and her brother were left without a mother to raise and nurture them. I'm not sure how many years I've known Madonna, I admire how well she can communicate her mother's story, her strength and tenacity, her advocacy, and for me her quiet calming presence. Melanie Methany also went missing in West Virginia. In 2006, the 21 year old mother of 3 was last seen dropping her children off at daycare. She was reported missing when she failed to pick them up that evening. 4 days later her abandoned vehicle was found wiped clean of fingerprints. It had been at that location since at least 2:00 on the day of her disappearance. Her parents also have a nonprofit in her name Melanie's Hope (Help Our Pets Endure). Bethany Decker disappeared in Virginia in 2011. The 21 year old mother was 5 months pregnant and was last seen at her apartment. Her car remained parked at the complex. I first met her family last year I believe. Her grandmother, the sweetest woman, told me that when she retires and has time, she's going to volunteer with CUE. I'm hoping after our conversation she does it now and I think she will.
Madonna spoke for the family of Jerry Plaster since he had no relatives at the event. Jerry was 27 in 1988 when he went missing in Virginia. The father of Dwayne "Kiddie" Chick spoke, actually he also spoke in Charlottesville. Dwayne disappeared in Virginia in 2005 at the age of 33. I was drawn to him at both locations and there is one image of him that I took with him holding his son's missing person poster that I find particularly haunting. Although this was the first time I met the family of Missing Samantha Clarke I was already aware of her case from CUE, Samantha went missing at 19 years of age in 2010 in Virginia. She woke her brother before she left her home to tell him she would be back but she never returned. This was the first time her mother got to meet Monica and she was raw with emotion. Monica brought Janeane and I over to speak with her, encourage her to become proactive instead of reactive. She told me that she's been this way since the first day and it's been 4 years. Adding to her predicament is the recent increase in media attention this past year because Samantha's case is linked to the disappearance of Alexis Murphy. There are phone calls on the night she went missing from the perpetrator convicted in Alexis' case. We need to do a better job of putting away evil on the first case so other families don't have to suffer the same plight.
Elisa
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