We had 4 hours to make a 3 and a half hour drive, easy breezy, unless you are traveling one lane roads in Friday afternoon traffic. I would ask when will the logistics nightmare end? But it ends tomorrow with the end of the tour. Until next year that is, because reality is, it's just life on the road tour.
This is Harlan's stop so he ends up unplugging the garmin....He knows better, and gets us there close to the starting time. The stop is being held at the Laurinberg Courthouse, last year it was at the Laurinberg Sheriif's Department, and I believe in 2011 it was in Lumberton. In the past it's usually our first stop and where Harlan joins us, he always manages to escape the prep work. Oh. And we are in North Carolina not South Carolina. Which I did know but forgot since not only were we in SC earlier we will be in SC again tomorrow morning and then NC again tomorrow afternoon. I'm sorry, I know they are close but the yoyo effect isn't working for me.
When we pull in its already dark and they have already started. I can see all the tables up front and people gathered around. A host is already in place speaking behind the tables. They immediately call Monica up and I'm attempting to set up our table in back of our van and take pictures all at the same time. I see lots of people I know, lots of familiar faces I recognize that I'm sure I'm supposed to know and lots of people I do not know. Monica speaks and then I hear Harlan being called up, because of his nephew I assume, until I hear him say he's not good at speaking and that I should come up. As I hear my name and make my way up front I really have no idea why, and as I take the microphone I have to ask what I'm supposed to talk about as Harlan smirks at me from the sidelines. She just wanted a tour volunteer to speak about our journey. I can't remember specially what I said although I'm sure I mentioned why I'm involved with CUE, I do know that later strangers wanted to hug me. Lots of families spoke, not only families of the missing but also families of unsolved homicides. It was a large crowd and it encompassed many groups of families that needed different forms of resolution for their loved ones.
This stop is for multiple missing persons and is being hosted by all their families.
Ricky Bethea grew up in Laurinburg but actually went missing from Milton where he was staying at an assisted living facility. He suffered from schizophrenia and was 45 when he went missing in 2007. He had went out walking into the woods with another resident that day. While the other resident returned to the facility, Ricky never did and has not been seen since. His energetic talkative sister was the host emceeing tonight.
Kimberly Thrower disappeared from Laurinburg in 2004. She was 16 and had left home in the morning for high school. She was last seen waiting at her stop for the school bus, but never got on and never arrived at school that day. It is believed that a man came up to her at the bus stop, put his arm around her and walked her into the woods.
Delwin Locklear disappeared from Martin in 2004. He was a 27 year old father of 2 when he was last seen in a wooded area behind his home. He is Harlen's nephew and the reason Harlen is involved with CUE. Not only does Harlan volunteer on this tour and attend the conferences every year, he's also a searcher.
I first met Harlan in 2006 when we both were attending our first conferences. Mathew was missing then and I attended the conference alone. I can't really say why. Family and friends had offered to come with me but I think I just felt so alone in this journey, you see my husband had died 2 years prior. Although I have a good support system I was determined to go by myself. I was a like a sponge that year taking it all in, very serious and focused. I ended up riding to the vigil with Harlan and his family. They were sitting behind me on the bus. We bonded on that ride and to me that bond
deepens every year.
Troy Jacobs went missing from Red Springs in 1996 at the age of 22. Earlier in the day he had said that there was someone that he was having trouble with and that he feared for his safety. He was last seen at a convenience store getting into a car full of people. He has not been seen since and investigators believe he was taken against his will.
Jessica Lowery was a 25 year old mother of 3 when she disappeared from Lumberton in 2005. She left her home one night to make a 2 mile walk to a friend's home, a walk she made often. She never made it to visit that friend and she has never been seen since. Jessica's family always represents at the vigils in large number wearing their agony clearly on their faces.
Roger Chambers was 34 when he went missing from Raeford in 2010. He was supposed to be going to a meeting and then possibly to meet up with someone who owed him money. He was last seen at a gas station where witnesses saw and spoke to him. He hasn't been seen since and his vehicle is also still missing. I remember first meeting with his family back in 2011 when they were still in the early raw stages of having a missing loved one. What I remember most is his children. Meeting the children of the missing is always heartbreaking and leaves a mark on your soul.
Jennifer Patterson went missing in 1991 from Spring Lake. She was 7 years old back then. Her parents were divorced but they all were still living together. Jennifer was last seen leaving her trailer home barefoot and in a bathing suit to go to a friend's trailer. It was hours before it was discovered that the neighbors were not at home that day and that Jennifer had vanished. The police focused early on her father even though it could be verified that he was at work all day. Jennifer's disappearance is now classified as a non family abduction but no one really knows how much more could have been done back then if only they hadn't made him their suspect. Jennifer's father attempted to come to our first stop in Raleigh, you can go back and read or reread that blog entry. He got lost tonight and arrived towards the end. Although he didn't get to speak he was able to see and sign the banner. I joked with him that now he must come to the finale tomorrow. His daughter went missing over 20 years ago, but you can see in his eyes that it's like yesterday for him.
Elisa
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Monday, November 3, 2014
Inman South Carolina Elisa
We left Indiana with a 9 hour overnight drive. It is the final long drive of the tour, and I for one was antsy in the van. South Carolina is a state we stop in often and from now on I will know all the families. There are 2 stops today and 2 tomorrow, which is our last day on the tour.
This stop is hosted by the family of Evelyn Shelton and the city of Inman. Evelyn went missing in Spartanburg and we had a stop last year at the Spartanburg City Hall, but today we are at the Inman City Hall and Police Department. Everyone was interspersing the 2 names, which was confusing to me, a non South Carolinian, but from what I understand Inman is in Spartanburg County.
Evelyn Shelton was 42 when she went missing in 2011. She was last seen leaving a church friend's home where she was attending Bible study. She had received a text message and left suddenly never to be seen again. The following day her car was recovered a few miles from where she had been the evening before and about 2 months later her wallet was found in a storm drain. Searches of all these areas failed to reveal anything else relevant to her disappearance.
Evelyn's brother Tim always hosts a good rally stop. He puts time and thought into what his message will be about and has changed his focus this year to domestic abuse. Tim runs the nonprofit Speak Life Forever Foundation, which Evelyn's family founded after her disappearance. It is a faith based organization whose purpose is to create awareness about missing individuals through connections with other organizations who maintain similar goals. The SLFF has vowed to keep hope alive through ministry at various community outreach events. Their shirts with Evelyn's picture say Never Give Up Hope.
Today's program began with an invocation by Inspired Life Ministries. Then we heard from the founder of the Retread Initiative, a nonprofit organization whose programs are aimed at youth education, victim re-empowerment, and behavior coaching. His domestic violence speech was different than most, as he spoke of the boys and men who need to be reached and coached. Reaching males is key to curbing domestic violence yet most speak of what women can and should do. After Monica spoke we were treated to songs of inspiration. A part of Evelyn's stop that I was looking forward to and that did not disappoint. A Pastor then introduced the Mayor of Inman, who welcomed us to his city although wishing we had come under different circumstances. Tim then invited us to cross the street where the balloon release would occur.
As we walked, we passed many missing persons posters staked into the ground all around the area of the ballon release. So many of the missing of South Carolina, so many faces that I was familiar with, so many stories that I know. Brandy, Kareem, Zach, Garrett, Crystal, Clartha and Brandon and Brittanee, to name just a few. It overwhelmed me rather than making me feel comfortable knowing so many. So many faces that I see year after year, so many who's families I've met, so many that are in my heart and that are dear to me, so many that deserve to be returned to their loved ones, just so many..
Elisa
This stop is hosted by the family of Evelyn Shelton and the city of Inman. Evelyn went missing in Spartanburg and we had a stop last year at the Spartanburg City Hall, but today we are at the Inman City Hall and Police Department. Everyone was interspersing the 2 names, which was confusing to me, a non South Carolinian, but from what I understand Inman is in Spartanburg County.
Evelyn Shelton was 42 when she went missing in 2011. She was last seen leaving a church friend's home where she was attending Bible study. She had received a text message and left suddenly never to be seen again. The following day her car was recovered a few miles from where she had been the evening before and about 2 months later her wallet was found in a storm drain. Searches of all these areas failed to reveal anything else relevant to her disappearance.
Evelyn's brother Tim always hosts a good rally stop. He puts time and thought into what his message will be about and has changed his focus this year to domestic abuse. Tim runs the nonprofit Speak Life Forever Foundation, which Evelyn's family founded after her disappearance. It is a faith based organization whose purpose is to create awareness about missing individuals through connections with other organizations who maintain similar goals. The SLFF has vowed to keep hope alive through ministry at various community outreach events. Their shirts with Evelyn's picture say Never Give Up Hope.
Today's program began with an invocation by Inspired Life Ministries. Then we heard from the founder of the Retread Initiative, a nonprofit organization whose programs are aimed at youth education, victim re-empowerment, and behavior coaching. His domestic violence speech was different than most, as he spoke of the boys and men who need to be reached and coached. Reaching males is key to curbing domestic violence yet most speak of what women can and should do. After Monica spoke we were treated to songs of inspiration. A part of Evelyn's stop that I was looking forward to and that did not disappoint. A Pastor then introduced the Mayor of Inman, who welcomed us to his city although wishing we had come under different circumstances. Tim then invited us to cross the street where the balloon release would occur.
As we walked, we passed many missing persons posters staked into the ground all around the area of the ballon release. So many of the missing of South Carolina, so many faces that I was familiar with, so many stories that I know. Brandy, Kareem, Zach, Garrett, Crystal, Clartha and Brandon and Brittanee, to name just a few. It overwhelmed me rather than making me feel comfortable knowing so many. So many faces that I see year after year, so many who's families I've met, so many that are in my heart and that are dear to me, so many that deserve to be returned to their loved ones, just so many..
Elisa
Rally Stop Blairstown, NJ
Rally Stop - Blairstown, NJ
Some would ask "excited" about going to a cemetery? But this next rally stop is in fact to stand among the deceased and bring light to a young girl who still has no name. You see years ago this beautiful child was brutally murdered and thrown out near a creek on the backside of this location; sadly the same location where she was put to rest by the towns people and law enforcement with no one every claiming her, she remains unidentified.
We gathered as the sun beamed through the hardwood trees just enough to burn warmth on your face and make you feel at peace. Lisa and Christine were worried that no one would show up and that maybe their efforts would not make the difference, oh how they was wrong. People from the town came out and even the original reporter who covered the story, in addition to the author of a book dedicated to this girl and the very first investigator. It was refreshing to know all of these folks gave of their time to come out and give honor to this unnamed child.
This song became meaningful after I learned about this case a few years ago http://youtu.be/eZrPcyyWRzI
There were signs and poster boards of others on display and families to represent them in attendance, like in memory of Patricia Viola and unsolved homicide victim Allison Jackson Foy; a grim reminder of my hometown that we have so many unsolved homicides lately that are stacking up at an unforgiving rate. This is the world we live in now, either you're a solved or unsolved case and then their are the unidentified who can never be afforded justice until we know where they come from to lead to what may have happened. I am angered that a child can remain missing for so long and go unreported and not searched for, can this really happened in today's world of technology? Yes, it does and I shake my head over and over in confusion of how this still continues to be an on going problem.
We prayed, dropped flowers at her little rock graveside after those close to the investigation spoke of their hardship to solved this crime. I had the chance to speak with all that had been involved and in private was told of how the girl was found and from the investigator himself and I quote. "anything that could have gone wrong that day upon her discovery, did; he share his disappointment in not being able to solve at least who she is; you could see his passion for this case in his eyes and felt his words like a burning fire, not to be quenched.
As we leave here, I have to find comfort in knowing she is now safe, the people of this town have claimed her and given her a temporary name, princess doe. But I can't help the feeling since I first learned of this young girl that somewhere a mistake has been made in a DNA entry or maybe not even entered yet and that an identification is upon the horizon for this doe. I feel strongly I was brought into this mystery to be an instrument for a resolve, so I have embraced it.
http://www.princessdoe.org/ to learn more about this child, click the link provided.
Today I have witnessed when faced with the most hopeless situation that their are people who do care and when joined together a a renewed force of strength takes place allowing a positive change to unfold, understanding it will all be in God's timing. We just have to believe.
Monica Caison LYMI
Some would ask "excited" about going to a cemetery? But this next rally stop is in fact to stand among the deceased and bring light to a young girl who still has no name. You see years ago this beautiful child was brutally murdered and thrown out near a creek on the backside of this location; sadly the same location where she was put to rest by the towns people and law enforcement with no one every claiming her, she remains unidentified.
We gathered as the sun beamed through the hardwood trees just enough to burn warmth on your face and make you feel at peace. Lisa and Christine were worried that no one would show up and that maybe their efforts would not make the difference, oh how they was wrong. People from the town came out and even the original reporter who covered the story, in addition to the author of a book dedicated to this girl and the very first investigator. It was refreshing to know all of these folks gave of their time to come out and give honor to this unnamed child.
This song became meaningful after I learned about this case a few years ago http://youtu.be/eZrPcyyWRzI
There were signs and poster boards of others on display and families to represent them in attendance, like in memory of Patricia Viola and unsolved homicide victim Allison Jackson Foy; a grim reminder of my hometown that we have so many unsolved homicides lately that are stacking up at an unforgiving rate. This is the world we live in now, either you're a solved or unsolved case and then their are the unidentified who can never be afforded justice until we know where they come from to lead to what may have happened. I am angered that a child can remain missing for so long and go unreported and not searched for, can this really happened in today's world of technology? Yes, it does and I shake my head over and over in confusion of how this still continues to be an on going problem.
We prayed, dropped flowers at her little rock graveside after those close to the investigation spoke of their hardship to solved this crime. I had the chance to speak with all that had been involved and in private was told of how the girl was found and from the investigator himself and I quote. "anything that could have gone wrong that day upon her discovery, did; he share his disappointment in not being able to solve at least who she is; you could see his passion for this case in his eyes and felt his words like a burning fire, not to be quenched.
As we leave here, I have to find comfort in knowing she is now safe, the people of this town have claimed her and given her a temporary name, princess doe. But I can't help the feeling since I first learned of this young girl that somewhere a mistake has been made in a DNA entry or maybe not even entered yet and that an identification is upon the horizon for this doe. I feel strongly I was brought into this mystery to be an instrument for a resolve, so I have embraced it.
http://www.princessdoe.org/ to learn more about this child, click the link provided.
Today I have witnessed when faced with the most hopeless situation that their are people who do care and when joined together a a renewed force of strength takes place allowing a positive change to unfold, understanding it will all be in God's timing. We just have to believe.
Monica Caison LYMI
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Kokomo Indiana Elisa
We stayed over in Iowa. We got settled in pretty early and hoped to get some work done, and do the drive to Indiana in the morning. We had to be there at 2 in the afternoon, it was a 5 hour drive and we loose an hour in the time change. So, hmm, 5 plus 1 is 6 plus an hour leeway is 7, from 2:00pm is 7am? Ok, we have to leave by 7am, this is the type of math we are constantly doing. Only the one stop in Indiana, the only day with one stop, but even more driving. Maybe at some point there can be a motel blog post. This was another epic place.
Kokomo Indiana. Roadside stop for the families of Kelly Armstrong and Esther Westenbarger. Both of these women went missing from Kokomo, and both families are here representing their loved ones in large numbers. As we pull into the parking lot you can see all the colorful posters of the missing lined up along the street. Interspersed between are posters of sayings, such as Every Missing Person Is Someone's Child and When I Want To Give Up, Hope Whisters Try One More Time. They have set up a map of Indiana with pushpins representing all the state's missing and from where in the state. There is a tree with colorful leaves attached representing the missing, each leaf has a missing persons name and where they went missing from. This tree of the missing is labeled the Tree Of Hope. Both families have their own tables set up with lots of pictures, and lots of balloons.
Kelly Armstrong went missing in 2011. She was 27 and living in a trailer with her boyfriend and young child. Her sister had been trying to reach her, the boyfriend always answered her calls and gave excuses as to why Kelly couldn't talk. Finally, the police were asked to do a welfare check and when they failed to reach Kelly, her sister reported her missing. Bloodstained carpet in the trailer was found to be Kelly's and within a few months the boyfriend confessed to killing Kelly. He has said that he put her body into a garbage container and watched a truck take it away. He has plead guilty to voluntary manslaughter. Authorities believe Kelly may be in a landfill, even though it has been searched and nothing has been found. Whether she is or isn't there and just because the boyfriend is now serving time, is meaningless until Kelly is found and returned to her family.
Esther Westenbarger had recently moved to Kokomo to be closer to her mother and siblings. She was also living in a trailer when she went missing in 2009, but that's where the sililarities to Kelly end. She had been out with friends at a bar, left her car there and went to another bar. It is believed that she went missing after leaving the second bar to go back for her car. Her car is also still missing.
While looking at the road signs I came across a couple with missing t shirts and found out that their daughter was also missing from the area. Ashley Morris Mullis disappeared in 2013. She was a 27 year old mother of three young children when she went missing. Her husband, the father of the then 5 year old and the then 2 year old has both been granted a divorce and gotten custody of his children since she disappeared. Her youngest child who was approximately 3 months old when she was last seen lives with the family of her then boyfriend and Ashley's parents have been denied access to their youngest grandchild.
Another woman I met told me that her sister had been missing and found. Although we didn't discuss the circumstances she appeared to be strong and very supportive of everyone there. She said she had researched CUE and came out to meet us. She was interested in both our conference and possibly becoming a State Coordinator. She brought with her the mother of a formerly missing, who appeared very fresh. I first met her by the roadside posters and thought she was family of one of the missing here. While working our banner spot I could see her talking to Harlan and David, she then came towards me and I offered her a marker to sign the banner. She said she didn't know what to write so I suggested she read some comments for inspiration. She sat down on the ground in front of the banner digesting all the faces and comments. This is when I learned that her daughter had recently been recovered. Her daughter, Brianna DiBattiste, went missing in June, was recovered in September and had been put to rest about 2 weeks ago.
This stop was quickly becoming the most emotional of the tour. Esther's family was in pain, Kelly's family was in pain, we had additional missing persons families showing up raw and in need of guidance, and now we had met a newly recovered mother clearly in pain. Everywhere you turned were people in different stages of the missing and recovered.
The press conference began with an older man hosting. A relative of Kelly's, he spoke of PTSD and how the only way we could heal was to talk. He said talk often, even if people get tired of listening to you, you must keep talking. Monica looked at me and smiled, she knows one of my biggest difficulties is thinking I talk too much about Mathew and that people are tired of hearing it. I really do know that this is mostly in my head and my problem, but it one of those things that continues to nag at me especially as the years he's been gone increases. Kelly's sister came forward to talk, she got emotional and had to walk away before finishing. Esther's family spoke, Monica spoke, Kelly's family read a poem for the missing and when we were asked if anyone else wanted to speak Brianna's mother came forward. I'm so glad she was able tell Brianna's story. When we learned that she had just buried her daughter, and yet made it here to be with all of us, I sensed she is going to be ok. Not now, maybe not for a long time but she is definitely taking the right steps. Just now I wanted to change the word ok. Are any of us mothers ever really ok after experience a missing and or recovered child? We are forever changed and never ok, but I can't think of another word to use. I have seen mothers not able to get out of bed, not able to leave the house, not able to function, still spending their days sobbing or visiting their child's graves daily even as years go by. So I guess what I mean by ok is that she's going to survive better than some. I encouraged her to come to the conference, by her being here today I think meeting all those families will really help in her healing process.
The balloon release was followed with tears and hugs that went on for longer than usual. As I've said before, this was a highly emotional stop and everyone seemed to be bonding now, after all the speeches. Then Monica was given flowers, and Kelly's family were all presented with framed pictures of her. We stayed a little longer helping to clean up, in no particular rush to get back on the road. It took me longer than usual after we left to shake the sadness. We asked Monica to share with us her knowledge of these cases. This is something we often do and something that usually helps me process the stop and the families. Yet I can't seem to get past all the people I met today and how much they all need their loved ones found. Then again, that goes for all the families both on this year's tour and everywhere.
Elisa
Kokomo Indiana. Roadside stop for the families of Kelly Armstrong and Esther Westenbarger. Both of these women went missing from Kokomo, and both families are here representing their loved ones in large numbers. As we pull into the parking lot you can see all the colorful posters of the missing lined up along the street. Interspersed between are posters of sayings, such as Every Missing Person Is Someone's Child and When I Want To Give Up, Hope Whisters Try One More Time. They have set up a map of Indiana with pushpins representing all the state's missing and from where in the state. There is a tree with colorful leaves attached representing the missing, each leaf has a missing persons name and where they went missing from. This tree of the missing is labeled the Tree Of Hope. Both families have their own tables set up with lots of pictures, and lots of balloons.
Kelly Armstrong went missing in 2011. She was 27 and living in a trailer with her boyfriend and young child. Her sister had been trying to reach her, the boyfriend always answered her calls and gave excuses as to why Kelly couldn't talk. Finally, the police were asked to do a welfare check and when they failed to reach Kelly, her sister reported her missing. Bloodstained carpet in the trailer was found to be Kelly's and within a few months the boyfriend confessed to killing Kelly. He has said that he put her body into a garbage container and watched a truck take it away. He has plead guilty to voluntary manslaughter. Authorities believe Kelly may be in a landfill, even though it has been searched and nothing has been found. Whether she is or isn't there and just because the boyfriend is now serving time, is meaningless until Kelly is found and returned to her family.
Esther Westenbarger had recently moved to Kokomo to be closer to her mother and siblings. She was also living in a trailer when she went missing in 2009, but that's where the sililarities to Kelly end. She had been out with friends at a bar, left her car there and went to another bar. It is believed that she went missing after leaving the second bar to go back for her car. Her car is also still missing.
While looking at the road signs I came across a couple with missing t shirts and found out that their daughter was also missing from the area. Ashley Morris Mullis disappeared in 2013. She was a 27 year old mother of three young children when she went missing. Her husband, the father of the then 5 year old and the then 2 year old has both been granted a divorce and gotten custody of his children since she disappeared. Her youngest child who was approximately 3 months old when she was last seen lives with the family of her then boyfriend and Ashley's parents have been denied access to their youngest grandchild.
Another woman I met told me that her sister had been missing and found. Although we didn't discuss the circumstances she appeared to be strong and very supportive of everyone there. She said she had researched CUE and came out to meet us. She was interested in both our conference and possibly becoming a State Coordinator. She brought with her the mother of a formerly missing, who appeared very fresh. I first met her by the roadside posters and thought she was family of one of the missing here. While working our banner spot I could see her talking to Harlan and David, she then came towards me and I offered her a marker to sign the banner. She said she didn't know what to write so I suggested she read some comments for inspiration. She sat down on the ground in front of the banner digesting all the faces and comments. This is when I learned that her daughter had recently been recovered. Her daughter, Brianna DiBattiste, went missing in June, was recovered in September and had been put to rest about 2 weeks ago.
This stop was quickly becoming the most emotional of the tour. Esther's family was in pain, Kelly's family was in pain, we had additional missing persons families showing up raw and in need of guidance, and now we had met a newly recovered mother clearly in pain. Everywhere you turned were people in different stages of the missing and recovered.
The press conference began with an older man hosting. A relative of Kelly's, he spoke of PTSD and how the only way we could heal was to talk. He said talk often, even if people get tired of listening to you, you must keep talking. Monica looked at me and smiled, she knows one of my biggest difficulties is thinking I talk too much about Mathew and that people are tired of hearing it. I really do know that this is mostly in my head and my problem, but it one of those things that continues to nag at me especially as the years he's been gone increases. Kelly's sister came forward to talk, she got emotional and had to walk away before finishing. Esther's family spoke, Monica spoke, Kelly's family read a poem for the missing and when we were asked if anyone else wanted to speak Brianna's mother came forward. I'm so glad she was able tell Brianna's story. When we learned that she had just buried her daughter, and yet made it here to be with all of us, I sensed she is going to be ok. Not now, maybe not for a long time but she is definitely taking the right steps. Just now I wanted to change the word ok. Are any of us mothers ever really ok after experience a missing and or recovered child? We are forever changed and never ok, but I can't think of another word to use. I have seen mothers not able to get out of bed, not able to leave the house, not able to function, still spending their days sobbing or visiting their child's graves daily even as years go by. So I guess what I mean by ok is that she's going to survive better than some. I encouraged her to come to the conference, by her being here today I think meeting all those families will really help in her healing process.
The balloon release was followed with tears and hugs that went on for longer than usual. As I've said before, this was a highly emotional stop and everyone seemed to be bonding now, after all the speeches. Then Monica was given flowers, and Kelly's family were all presented with framed pictures of her. We stayed a little longer helping to clean up, in no particular rush to get back on the road. It took me longer than usual after we left to shake the sadness. We asked Monica to share with us her knowledge of these cases. This is something we often do and something that usually helps me process the stop and the families. Yet I can't seem to get past all the people I met today and how much they all need their loved ones found. Then again, that goes for all the families both on this year's tour and everywhere.
Elisa
Friday, October 31, 2014
Rally Stop Meriden, CT
Rally Stop Meriden, CT
It's morning and we are rushing to pack up and get to our stop today, being we drove until 3 am we are all feeling a little rough, everyone drinks coffee but me, so.....you can do the math. I am looking forward to this stop as it is the museum for law enforcement and contains so much history. It will be a good distraction from all the emotions that are piling up as we travel through the tour thus far.
Donna did a great job with all her visuals and making sure her agenda played out to her perfection. Families, press, law enforcement and guest were all accounted for and the message of the day was revisiting cold cases and the importance of it all. I had time to speak with many folks while their after the program was over while others networked and enjoyed the table of coffee and goodies, it was good as it gave me time to catch my breath.
I met and spoke in private with some families but the one who stuck in me head and heart all day was a Spanish family, they needed help, their story was very sad and they have not been treated with much respect at all. A mother reported her son missing when he did not return from the store and a storm came in beating down on their little home that night, she explains all she went through fighting tears with no success. Then days later a violent crime committed came to light and the media comes to interview people in the neighborhood to get their reaction, only to find out they are speaking about her son. He still has not been found. I held the hand of his broken father and felt every inch of his grief, I made a promise to help them. People who know me, know I do not like making promises always afraid something will happen that will prevent me from keeping my word, I take this very seriously. But I did and I will, they need it!
This song is very fitting for the way I felt for this family
http://youtu.be/evO6GGOkSug
You see the Spanish people who make great sacrifices to travel here seek a freedom we Americans speak of and yes although most come here illegally it does not mean we should not have compassion or treat them as they not worthy. How sad I feel that in most cases, this does play a role in how the case gets worked or if at all. Sadly, because of their status they cannot push their case as they are afraid of what may happen to them. It's not my place to judge, all I know is a child is missing, a crime has happen and a justice needs to be afforded to an innocent boy. The rest can talk amongst themselves.
I briefly walked through the museum and experience a travel back in time, wow how far law enforcement has come in the day of technology, then I came upon the "in memory room". It makes you take a moment to to give honor and read about these strangers who gave their life for our safety and protection, a grim reminder of how cruel this world really is at times. Finally I am looking at the K9 memorial wall, I stand and think of my loss, Heidi and relate to all the officers who lost their K9, I feel burden and then a flood of my my own memories and that I had been through with Heidi as well as our travels together, it becomes more than I need to visit with today, so I leave the museum to get re focused.
All and all it was an awesome stop and I feel time here has made a difference. As we pack up to leave and say our goodbyes I feel a renewed sense of justice for the OLD not cold cases, their are investigators out there that are making the difference and solving them, I remain hopefully today.
Monica Caison LYMI
It's morning and we are rushing to pack up and get to our stop today, being we drove until 3 am we are all feeling a little rough, everyone drinks coffee but me, so.....you can do the math. I am looking forward to this stop as it is the museum for law enforcement and contains so much history. It will be a good distraction from all the emotions that are piling up as we travel through the tour thus far.
Donna did a great job with all her visuals and making sure her agenda played out to her perfection. Families, press, law enforcement and guest were all accounted for and the message of the day was revisiting cold cases and the importance of it all. I had time to speak with many folks while their after the program was over while others networked and enjoyed the table of coffee and goodies, it was good as it gave me time to catch my breath.
I met and spoke in private with some families but the one who stuck in me head and heart all day was a Spanish family, they needed help, their story was very sad and they have not been treated with much respect at all. A mother reported her son missing when he did not return from the store and a storm came in beating down on their little home that night, she explains all she went through fighting tears with no success. Then days later a violent crime committed came to light and the media comes to interview people in the neighborhood to get their reaction, only to find out they are speaking about her son. He still has not been found. I held the hand of his broken father and felt every inch of his grief, I made a promise to help them. People who know me, know I do not like making promises always afraid something will happen that will prevent me from keeping my word, I take this very seriously. But I did and I will, they need it!
This song is very fitting for the way I felt for this family
http://youtu.be/evO6GGOkSug
You see the Spanish people who make great sacrifices to travel here seek a freedom we Americans speak of and yes although most come here illegally it does not mean we should not have compassion or treat them as they not worthy. How sad I feel that in most cases, this does play a role in how the case gets worked or if at all. Sadly, because of their status they cannot push their case as they are afraid of what may happen to them. It's not my place to judge, all I know is a child is missing, a crime has happen and a justice needs to be afforded to an innocent boy. The rest can talk amongst themselves.
I briefly walked through the museum and experience a travel back in time, wow how far law enforcement has come in the day of technology, then I came upon the "in memory room". It makes you take a moment to to give honor and read about these strangers who gave their life for our safety and protection, a grim reminder of how cruel this world really is at times. Finally I am looking at the K9 memorial wall, I stand and think of my loss, Heidi and relate to all the officers who lost their K9, I feel burden and then a flood of my my own memories and that I had been through with Heidi as well as our travels together, it becomes more than I need to visit with today, so I leave the museum to get re focused.
All and all it was an awesome stop and I feel time here has made a difference. As we pack up to leave and say our goodbyes I feel a renewed sense of justice for the OLD not cold cases, their are investigators out there that are making the difference and solving them, I remain hopefully today.
Monica Caison LYMI
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Clinton Iowa Elisa
We left Minnesota on a relaxed high. We've made it over half way through the tour. We've gotten through the initial confusion of what to take out at each stop, who is fulfilling what roles and realize from here on out it's going to go faster and faster until the end. Up until today every day had 3 stops with lots of late night driving. From now on we have less stops each day, but still a lot of driving to do. We leave around noon and don't have to be in Iowa until 7, with the drive only 5 hours. Cool that! We stop for lunch and some scenic pictures. Before you know it we need to rush again. At least we are staying in the Central Time Zone.
Benjamin Roseland went missing in 2008. He was 19 years old and visiting friends. He left the apartment at 10:30pm to walk to a grocery store for something to eat. He never arrived there and has not been seen since. The shoes he was wearing were discovered blocks apart from one another during one of the many searches conducted for him.
We pull in front of the Sacret Hearts Chapel, the location for tonight's vigil. Luckily, someone is waiting outside so we know we can unload a table of things and park in the rear. It's a beautiful church and filled with family, friends and members of the community. All ages are present here tonight. Ben's Aunt Julie greets us and is hosting the vigil. She says tonight is not a night to be sad, it's a night of hope and a night to get Ben's information out. Ben's 2 sisters spoke. His younger sister, Helen, was only 15 when Ben disappeared and wasn't able to do much back then. Now that she's older she says she is taking on a bigger role in attempting to find out what happened to her big brother 6 years ago. Ben's older sister, Audra, spoke of her work in the science field and how things should follow a logical path. How her brain cannot accept Ben just vanishing. She speaks of all the things Ben has missed and brings her children up, a daughter who I believe was a baby when Ben went missing, and a son who was born after Ben's disappearance. Life marches forward, lives change, time goes by, we get older. Yet for families of the missing, at the same time, nothing changes at all. They are still waiting for answers, they think daily about what happened, what more can be done. Constantly second guessing decisions and actions, constantly doing the what ifs...Audra asks the audience if anyone has any questions and her little boy, standing besides her raises his hand. She looks down at him "Do you have a question?" "Yes", he responds "Why is he missing?"
Missing teenage boys, my Achilles heel. Yet even with Ben's nephew asking probing questions and tears being shed, this family worked hard at keeping things upbeat. Real tears can be shed later, celebrating Ben was more important for right now. Everyone needed to be out of the church by 8:30 so there was a world wind of activity cleaning up as we brought the van out front for more pictures. Julie insisted on taking photos of us, pictures of the 5 of us are scarce so we appreciated that. As the family takes turns taking pictures besides the van Audra's children are asked to find their uncle. They point up at him and turn smiling for the camera. Then this vocal little boy announces to whoever will listen, "I've never met him".
Elisa
Benjamin Roseland went missing in 2008. He was 19 years old and visiting friends. He left the apartment at 10:30pm to walk to a grocery store for something to eat. He never arrived there and has not been seen since. The shoes he was wearing were discovered blocks apart from one another during one of the many searches conducted for him.
We pull in front of the Sacret Hearts Chapel, the location for tonight's vigil. Luckily, someone is waiting outside so we know we can unload a table of things and park in the rear. It's a beautiful church and filled with family, friends and members of the community. All ages are present here tonight. Ben's Aunt Julie greets us and is hosting the vigil. She says tonight is not a night to be sad, it's a night of hope and a night to get Ben's information out. Ben's 2 sisters spoke. His younger sister, Helen, was only 15 when Ben disappeared and wasn't able to do much back then. Now that she's older she says she is taking on a bigger role in attempting to find out what happened to her big brother 6 years ago. Ben's older sister, Audra, spoke of her work in the science field and how things should follow a logical path. How her brain cannot accept Ben just vanishing. She speaks of all the things Ben has missed and brings her children up, a daughter who I believe was a baby when Ben went missing, and a son who was born after Ben's disappearance. Life marches forward, lives change, time goes by, we get older. Yet for families of the missing, at the same time, nothing changes at all. They are still waiting for answers, they think daily about what happened, what more can be done. Constantly second guessing decisions and actions, constantly doing the what ifs...Audra asks the audience if anyone has any questions and her little boy, standing besides her raises his hand. She looks down at him "Do you have a question?" "Yes", he responds "Why is he missing?"
Missing teenage boys, my Achilles heel. Yet even with Ben's nephew asking probing questions and tears being shed, this family worked hard at keeping things upbeat. Real tears can be shed later, celebrating Ben was more important for right now. Everyone needed to be out of the church by 8:30 so there was a world wind of activity cleaning up as we brought the van out front for more pictures. Julie insisted on taking photos of us, pictures of the 5 of us are scarce so we appreciated that. As the family takes turns taking pictures besides the van Audra's children are asked to find their uncle. They point up at him and turn smiling for the camera. Then this vocal little boy announces to whoever will listen, "I've never met him".
Elisa
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Rally Stop Fredericksburg, VA
Rally Stop Fredericksburg, VA
We are driving and trying to get though the late day traffic where everyone is a hurry to get somewhere. We arrive to our stop in plain site along the busy roadway with a live radio station telling listeners all about what is happening here. Some beep but keep moving, others stop in briefly and those who pass are reminded of those missing in Virginia. As always until something tragic like a missing person happens to a person they really lend no major effort of getting involved, it just has to be okay today, so I leave that alone.
This stop is like almost a reunion for me seeing families I have not seen in a while, sadly this only means that their person is still missing. Madonna and others have set up tents aligned with banners, signage and beautiful table displays marking all of the missing featured today and that they matter, they existed! Speakers execute their message, most who spoke were suffering a missing person and as their words flow out they tremble with held back tears trying to be heard. This part of our stops is the most heart wrenching as each story is so very important.
You see people who suffer the cruelties of a missing person have to tell their story, no matter how many times it takes to afford the right person to hear it. Meaning, a day will come that the message is received by someone who may know something, that can help with a tip or lead in the investigation; a vital part of advocacy. Families have to learn its meaning and play this role in each case.
Organizations and advocates must teach families this great lesson. I witness this today, Madonna and other families standing up and taking on the fight, present to endure the battle they profess to one day claim victory. I continue to learn so much from those who our center has helped, watching victims gain a solid ground and utilize the tools and information we provide and experiencing the tides that turn to victim no more, I smile inside. I was taught that a good advocate is to teach their victim to become their own advocate, and be of help when they stumble or fall. CUE does this daily and I am proud of all those who work to make this happen.
Ending the day with this stop left a lot for me to think about for the several hours we had left to travel onward to Connecticut, cases featured ranged from months to decades on this day, but the feeling of loss was like it happened yesterday for all who stood there waving goodbye in our rear view mirror.
Monica Caison LYMI
We are driving and trying to get though the late day traffic where everyone is a hurry to get somewhere. We arrive to our stop in plain site along the busy roadway with a live radio station telling listeners all about what is happening here. Some beep but keep moving, others stop in briefly and those who pass are reminded of those missing in Virginia. As always until something tragic like a missing person happens to a person they really lend no major effort of getting involved, it just has to be okay today, so I leave that alone.
This stop is like almost a reunion for me seeing families I have not seen in a while, sadly this only means that their person is still missing. Madonna and others have set up tents aligned with banners, signage and beautiful table displays marking all of the missing featured today and that they matter, they existed! Speakers execute their message, most who spoke were suffering a missing person and as their words flow out they tremble with held back tears trying to be heard. This part of our stops is the most heart wrenching as each story is so very important.
You see people who suffer the cruelties of a missing person have to tell their story, no matter how many times it takes to afford the right person to hear it. Meaning, a day will come that the message is received by someone who may know something, that can help with a tip or lead in the investigation; a vital part of advocacy. Families have to learn its meaning and play this role in each case.
advocacy
noun
noun: advocacy
- public support for or recommendation of a particular cause or policy:"their advocacy of traditional family values"synonyms: support for · backing of · promotion of · championing of · argument for ·push for · boosterism of
Organizations and advocates must teach families this great lesson. I witness this today, Madonna and other families standing up and taking on the fight, present to endure the battle they profess to one day claim victory. I continue to learn so much from those who our center has helped, watching victims gain a solid ground and utilize the tools and information we provide and experiencing the tides that turn to victim no more, I smile inside. I was taught that a good advocate is to teach their victim to become their own advocate, and be of help when they stumble or fall. CUE does this daily and I am proud of all those who work to make this happen.
Ending the day with this stop left a lot for me to think about for the several hours we had left to travel onward to Connecticut, cases featured ranged from months to decades on this day, but the feeling of loss was like it happened yesterday for all who stood there waving goodbye in our rear view mirror.
Monica Caison LYMI
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